Mural, done. Woot! If You Love Something. Let it go…
“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.”
After three beautiful years, Diana has decided to part ways with me. I will always remember her as the innocent, caring individual that brought spark to my life and I pray that the next man she decides to love treats her with unconditional love, patience and respect. It’s so hard to let something so wonderful go. But, with faith alone, I will pull through the difficult task of letting my angel slip through my fingers. The angel of courage sits at my side and reminds me of the beauty of my time with Diana but also reminds me that I must move on. If nothing less, my time with her was bliss.
Diana, I loved you.
“One night a man had a
dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with
the Lord. Across the sky
flashed scenes from his life.
Each scene, he noticed two sets
of footprints in the sand; one
belonging to him and the
other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his
life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in
the sand. He noticed that many
times along the path of his life
there was only one set of
footprints. He also noticed that
it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and
he questioned the Lord about
it. “Lord, you said that once I
decided to follow you, you’d
walk with me all the way. But I
have noticed that during the
most troublesome times in my
life, there is only one set of
footprints. I don’t understand
why when I needed you most
you would leave me.
The Lord replied, “My
precious, precious child, I love
you and I would never leave
you. During your times of trial
and suffering, when you see
only one set of footprints, it
was then that I carried you.”
I just recently broke up with someone and I found your words to be inspirational and I hope you are doing well these day.
I FEEL U
very inspirational…great words…
I agree. I am a blubbering mess over the breakup I’m dealing with now. This post is an inspiration, for sure. It’s what I wish I could think right now. You are an awesome individual.
I recently went through a break-up and saw this quote. I took it to heart and let her go. Now a month and a half later she came back to me and I can’t explain how I feel about her now. Oh how I wish that she will be with me forever. And by the way I love that story too, I have a poster with it on it and it means so much to me. Just have faith and trust in God. That’s what I did and if you do that everything will turn out all right.
Hello Brandon,
I too am dealing with the loss of someone that I love dearly and it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Your words hit really close to home and hope you are well.
I found it ironic that your name is bRANDon and mine is RANDy and the woman I had to let go is Dianne and yours was Diana. However, it appears that we may be moving toward a reconciliation. I found this site because I was looking for a picture, song or something with the saying “if you love something set it free” so if we get back together I can have it on a wall or sing it as a song. The reconciliation has been a struggle. Too often one person puts up a protective barrier when they really do want to get back together but they will not admit it to themselves and allow it to happen.
to bigin with, you are right, and i respect all what you have written here in this page. i really love someone very much,she was very hard with me,even thought, i didn’t wanna let her slip through my fingers,but tht what happened,then she went away. really life is very very dark,and very hard as well.
Your words are powerful and hit very close to home, but what we all have to remember in these times is that god has a pan for all of us. And in gods time he will show us the path that he wants to take. You can be completely oblivious of the fact that he has laid that path out before you until you are already well down it.
What will be will be and tomorrow will be a brighter day.
I’ve let go of the one that I love. I have hope in my heart that she will come back. It is very painful not knowing.
I love someone and i let him go, and he came back to me. No one knows how long it will last, but whatever happens, the memories will not be taken away from me!!!
Your words are powerful and they reach me. Thank you.
I have recently lost my boyfriend and it has been so very hard, words can express how I feel right now. I love him no matter what, but this saying has been a true inspiration to me, I hope and pray that he will come back to me because if he doesnt I am not quite sure how my love life will turn out. I believe we were meant to be, but he is too stubborn to realise this. Only time will tell though. Nobody really knows what God has in store for us all…
Thirty-four years ago today, I received the first kiss from my childhood sweetheart. This love of my life came back into my life a year and a half ago after over 30 years. We always had a bond but our timing had been always just “off.” We thought that we had everything and that finally, forever would be ours. I realize that it is now time to let go and I saw this just today when I searched for the butterfly saying. Your words made me cry and hurt for you, me and what might have been. I now must wait to see if the love comes back or if it is all gone in the wisp of a butterfly’s flutter. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us.
If someone truely loves you, they’ll let you go. It’s your choice to come back.
As I was preparing to renew our vows in Jamaica for our 10th year, I over heard the only man I’ve ever loved telling a co worker he was leaving. That was 1 year ago…and I’m just realizing that it was not all a bad dream…
I am just separted after 31 yrs of being with the man of my life, or so I thought. I saw this and remembered it a little different however it brought back memories of when I was young . It is still true.. I left this man 15 yes ago and we got back together .. and now I have lost the love of my life again . I still love him , but I think it is gone now forever :( Thank you ..
Beautiful words. Two weeks ago me and my boyfriend of 2 years, parted ways. He let me go. But he mentioned that quote in one of the messages he sent me. I have that hope and my heart is open. But i do deep down truely know he wont be coming back. But at least i know im not alone. Thank you.
I just came across this, and it is so true…after one wonderful year together, my boyfriend decided he wanted to break it off “for awhile”…two years and four months later, we are back together, and neither of us could be happier…
I have been going through a break up, and he just is starting to come back to me….he is the love of my life. This quote means a lot to me. Your words are inspirational. Hope that you are doing well.
I was reading over this post. Thank you for writing it. How are things now?
Thank you for this post. I had to recently let the love of my life go. It was the hardest thing I have ever done but it was the most selfless and the only option in our situation. God Bless you!
I have seen this passage about the footprints many time but never paid much attention. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and its a pain that can not be explained its hard to breath sometimes.Its such and empty feeling. I let him go and I regret very much. One thing that I am begining to understand is I have faith in GOD and if he wants me to go through this its for a reason that I cannot question, but I know its for the better. Ive been fighting to get him back but ive done all I can do, everyone tells me that I need to let it go becuase if he is really meant for me then he will come back.Its like other people say “you dont know what youve got until its gone” I hope I can come back here and say that he came back….. but till then only time will tell.
Gaby,
I am in your exact situation. My girlfriend of two years just broke up with me because she said that she needed space and time. She says that she still loves me but that she does not want me to be her boyfriend anymore. I’ve been desperately trying to win her back, yet she claims that i am only pushing her further away. Then lastnight i asked “so we’re over forever?” and her response was “not forever, not necessarily, but for now we are not together”. So, as i have always been a pessimist, this turned me around to think on the brighter side. After that i kept texting her with cute little quotes and such until she said “Please stop with that kinda stuff…ur acting like were together”…“ur not trying to let go at all though. If you dont ur only going to hurt more.”. So i decided to google “if you love something, let it go”. I stumbled across this page and am thankful for doing so. I have never been religious; however, after seeing that it is possible to gain back the love of your life by letting them go, i responded to her “I’m wrong. I do love you, and for that, i will let you go. What happens next is in Gods plan. Goodbye”. I’m praying for everything to work out, i just cant stand the loneliness….
your words have been exceptionally helpful, they actually brought back my faith. thank you. if things turn out, i will post again. Best of luck Gaby and everybody else that needs the support of others in this hurtful and dark situation.
Iam going threw the same thing. Me and the love of my life broke up with me 2 months ago after being together for a yr and 4 months. It hurts but they needed space and I always here how if you love something let it go and if its meant to be they will be back. I mean that was even said when we broke up and this site just made me feel so good. Because I am going to keep my faith in god and know that he won’t steer me wrong.
Your story really hit home & after reading it, I told the love of my life not to call me anymore unless he wanted “me” back…and I really feel like I am going to die. Our situation was a little different – someone was getting in the middle of our relationship and he could not handle it so he wanted to have a break. It breaks my heart for him to say he wants a break from me. Then calling me as if we were friends every day. He was breaking my heart everyday, It was so hard to tell him not to call; I love him so very much. However I took your words of wisdom and let him go and I know that if he truly loves me, he will come back.
Maybe I am just one of those people that will never be with the one they truly love. I rather believe that, then to think I have a man next to me that really does not want to be with me. Or that I am wasting my life with someone that is not as committed to me as I am to them. I hope everything is well with you, and thank you for your story it really put things in perspective for me !
I too am going through a similar situation with many of those that have posted above. My girlfriend as well wanted “space” and to be single again yet she does love me. Its hard to let someone go when you love them so much and especially when you don’t completely understand why someone who loves you would want to leave you.
Its hard to even fathom moving on, but my mind keeps telling me i deserve someone who doesn’t abandon me and my heart tells me otherwise.
Although it feels impossible, i try to be positive, enjoy what i do have in my life, like friends and family. I keep my heart held high and even with trying all of this, i have moments of great despair.
To all those who come across this site, i hope your hearts prevail.
omg,
i’m so glad i read this.
you have got to be one of the most caring people ever.
i’m so glad you wrote this.
My wife and i have been married for 13 years,we have been seperated for a month.I have not been a saint in our marrige but not a bad person.I have been trying to win her back, she says the thought of being with me any more is not possible.I don’t give up on things. Last night i called her and said i would give her the divorce she wants. I don’t want to be divorced and this is the hardest thing iv’e ever had to do.I feel lost and that there is no hope for me. I love her with all my heart she was the best thing that ever happened to me. The hardest part is we have a 5 year old dauther. I always wanted her to have what i had growing up,a loving mother and father that were happily married.I have given up the love of my life. Will she come back i dont know. My faith in God hasen’t been that strong over the years,this has brought me closer to God and my faith in him is much more. But what a price to pay. This posting has been very helpful,i hope things are going well for you and my love of the one you have lost come back to you. I do beleive there are many people who could be our true loves.I hope and pray that the rest of us can experience true love. If anyone has felt the pain that i have please comment on my story. I am very lonly in this life. Love you all.
Dear All Yea Left Behind,
Thou art the chosen few for HIS test in FAITH and TOGETHERNESS.Only time will heal your wound.Consider every day as HIS blessing.There is such a lot a sorrow in this world.Is not yours far less than the others?
im a college student and my love for 4 years goes to college 20 minutes away..she told me shes been sleeping with someone else..i am absolutly heart broken..but i am also hypocritical. i have not been a saint, we are both good looking people so the pressure is hard. shes the one that holds my heart..i cant imagine anyone else..no one compares..she just wants to be friends..is that even possible?
this goes out to everyone-
i have just read every one of your posts. i have been in the places you have been and empathize deeply. even today i am dealing with the debate between letting someone go or continuing to try for them. this has happend to me before and brought me down hard, but the great thing is: it gets easier to handle. i am surprised that for once in my life, the uncertainty and hurt that have accompanied being of this difficult status are lighter.
if i could share my strategy with you, it is to simply tell yourself that hey, maybe this person you’re crying over is just a jerk. maybe they care more for themselves than for you, as many people do. maybe you just dont do it for them. maybe you just dont want to admit it. maybe they dont want to be the bad guy and tell you they dont love you or tell you “it will never happen,” as many people dont. why? breaking someone’s heart is a dirty job. in the past i too waited around, my heart half holding onto those old feelings, the other half stopping me from getting my hopes up (which, need i say, caused so much second guessing and worry and personal strife). but i’ve decided im through with all that, and am alot happier for it. you’ve got to do what’s in YOUR best interest and move on- no waiting around for someone that may or may not show. it doesnt make sense and in effect, serves only to lower your self-esteem and standards.
you all seem to be sincere, thoughtful, caring people who want to love and be loved. so dont suffer for someone who chooses not to be yours. come on, screw that right!?;)
i hope you all find happiness with someone who cares, or even better- within yourselves. take care!!
I also had a true love, we met when we were very young and then we cross path when we were older. Our lives took very difference turn but I still love him the same. Well during our relationship of six years he was always letting me go, and I was always trying to hang on. He didn’t know that it almost killed me when he would leave me. I started asking God to take this man out of my mind and my heart and God did. Well sometimes people don’t understand that you do reap what you sow and he is doing that now. He realize now that he lost someone that truly did love him for him. It was hard to let him go but I had to and I had to shut the door to my heart to him but I guess God had to remove him because he was blocking my blessing.
I feel your words….
but tell me this; what if there is the girl of your dreams right in front of you, but you’ve NO idea how she might feel about you.
Now before you tell me “just give it a chance!”, remember I’ve tried over the course of three occasions and two years to capture her eye while never being close but once and too scared to try again for fear of what will happen. She’s the only girl I’ve ever felt like it could be forever. I never thought about her body…
Because even though I know in my mind she is GORGEOUS, I’d love her in my heart that for an eternity even if she was crippled, ugly, or dieing.
I just wanted to say that the quote at the top, was AWESOME and I have lived by it for months now. I went through a break up with complications. As much as it killed me inside and broke my heart into millions of pieces… I let him go. I walked away and let him be. Months later, he showed up… wanting to start over… without the complications. :)
We are talking and nothing is confirmed, but I know that we love each other, so hopefully… its our time. Hopefully!!
I really loved this and all that is written within. The love and emotion in which it is written with… its just phenominal.
Good Luck!! :) Keep Smiling!!! Surround yourself with love, friends, and most importantly family and God.
I came by your page because someone told me the quote and i googled it to find more quotes that might help me survive my hole and depression. I just wanted to say that it is the truest thing anyone has ever spoken. My struggle is that my beautiful girlfriend of 6 years and i have been split for 3 months, almost 4. After 6 years you would think that you could make it through anything, especially because we werent married. But i took advantage of that and lost her. We hardly talked at all after we broke up and i moved to tampa to try and “escape” my life. Well when i moved to tampa and was there for 3 months, it was a huge wake up call to me. At first i felt like i was running away from my problems, and then i felt that this was the solution to my problems. Well I’m back home now and even though she tells me that she cant see herself happy with me again, I want to tell her that quote…. because she does love me and i have no doubt in my mind, but she let me go. And i am madly in love with her.. .thats right, IN LOVE with her and I am coming back… now i just have to live the quote myself. now i have to let go and see if she wants to come back to me. I know in my heart of hearts that she hasnt quite convinced herself that this is what she wanted. Oh what do I do… i want her back so much and these words are hard to interpret… she let me go and i truly loved her and I will always be hers… but if i let her go and she dont come back… then she was never mine and i have to move on. I am still torn apart by all of it, even though the words help me cope. they are very true. i have faith in my love of my relationship that if i can just make her see that there is nothing more than love… when we die, we don’t take possessions with us, but we take the love that we had. I just don’t know how i can make her see these things without disobeying the quote. Thank you for listening to me, and anyone with advise, please email me! And i will do my best to play the waiting game… she knows i want her back… now i have to wait until she is ready to talk to me.
It is very painful when you really want or care someone to let him/her go.
The fear of unknown….whether the person will come back to you or not.
My case, I have let the guy go who I really felt he was the one for me, but he chose to be with somebody else.
A month later, he came back to me but he was still in the relationship. I wonder did I fail to let him go? He didn’t come back as a single….and confused me a lot. I guess I have to let him go again without wishing him to come back to be clean or to be a single, but this time I have to wish that I will be able to over him completly.
I have to comment on this message. It’s two years old and yet it happens each and every day to millions. Just yesterday, I too recently ended a three year relationship. The pain and feelings are still very much raw. Reading this offered some slight relief in knowing that it’s not the end just a new beginning. Thank you!
I have to comment on this message. It’s two years old and yet it happens each and every day to millions. Just yesterday, I too recently ended a three year relationship. The pain and feelings are still very much raw. My companion was dating another women for the duration of the time we dated. He’s very conflicted and so to resolve i’ve walked away. I’ve passed this message on to him in hopes that he’ll find peace for himself. I’m not sure if i will be with him or not in the future but for now i have to be strong in knowing that letting him go now is better for me later.
the trick here, fellas, is to not get attached. bang more broads and leave them by the way side. yes, sure, you are viewed as uncaring, and even possibly cruel, as a human being, but trust me – it saves on the hurt a LOT. and really, is that what we all want? to not hurt? just an fyi, from a chick.
Let me go!
Yes, that is exactly what he did and three years later our paths crossed again.
More mature and confident our relationship turned into something that lasts.
Twenty-three years later the flame is still burning and God holds the fuel.
To the previous comment,
No, that is not the answer. It is only a temporary filler that must be revisited over and over again.
When Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well. He said, “From this well you will thirst again, drink from the living water and you will never thirst.“Read John 4:4-42
Sexual sin, the only sin done within the body, destroys the body. The only way to “feel better” is to do it over and over again. During the process a deep ache within continues gnawing.
I met this guy on-line from an on-line dating service. And in the begining I thought he really liked me. We spoke to each other every single day and night and he Texted me every day. He also came to visit me in my state. Then all of a sudden, he started pulling away from me. He stopped calling me and he stopped texting me. Now I don’t hear from him any more. He never gave me an explanation about why he stopped contacting me. But I still like him. I think he stopped talking to me and found someone else because I was too insecure and I didn’t have enough confidence in myself.
i found myself here somehow, today i just woke and i cant take her off my mind, and i really needed something to hang on to, and this helps, as long as we faith we are going to be ok, thank you.
I read this and inspired me just let go. I love him with all my heart and he treats me like I am nothing. I don’t understand how a person can say one day that he loves you and the next treat you like this. I just pray for his salvation. By reading this, I see you as a good man that some woman will be proud and honoured to say you are her husband. A God fearing man.
Grow a pair and get over it. #$%&!* metrosexual namby-pamby.
One year ago today I found this site and wrote a note – somehow it helped the hurt of losing something so precious for a second time. And although I will never stop loving him, it’s just not that easy to not keep looking up in hopes for that butterfly’s return.
35 years ago today I had my first kiss with what we would now call my childhood sweetheart. We dated through part of high school and into college and then went our separate ways. We reconnected two and a half years ago in what “our world of friends” said they knew “would always be.” We had such hopes, joys, and dreams. We had a second chance. And somehow, it’s gone. Moving on is an action, but letting go while loving is the heart breaking.
The butterfly came back the first time when I least expected it. It returned at a time where I was at rock bottom and didn’t know if I could look up high enough to make it through. Life moves on and so do I but there will always be that hope. And as he once quoted to me by E. B. B….. “and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.” meqido.
My heart goes out to all you guys! My situation is a little different, I am still with my boyfriend of 6mths but in the past 2mths we have been fighting alot & have broken up twice, the last time being 4 weeks ago. The thing is he is trying to do all that he promised (showing more affection etc) which makes me realise that he must love me if he is trying but I still feel really insecure! I have this constant lump in my chest & churning in my stomach as if i’m grieving a loss and this is causing me to be really clingy. I dont know what to do, I feel like i’m losing my mind & am really depressed! Does anyone have any advice?
well who knows what can happen love is very funny that way. i mean me and this guy i have been in love it with for the past 10 months he broke up with me beacuse he is dealing with his slf right now he says he still love me and cares for me and we still see each other and talk to each other but i know he is the one for me i have thae feelin that feels so good i love love him for who he is and i love him for loving me i prayed for him to come in my llife and he did but i think god took him back out so i can see a bigger picture in my own life and things i need to to do before he comes back thats why i think right not we are no together but feel likes it not over yet and we still got and lomg way to go but for now i have to let him go.and see what happens hopin that god will do the right thing for me.
m.unk thanks for your positive words.
My gf of 4.5 years just told me she doesnt feel the passion for me anymore and needs to figure out what shes wants out of her life.
Before we started dating, I had planned to go travelling for a year, she loved me before I left, and greifed like a break up while i was gone. When i returned we began dating.
Now 4.5 years later its her turn to leave me, and it hurts like hell! I can only hope that she returns and is mine, and if not, this will be the hardest thing i have ever gone through in my life!
(she just told me 2 days ago)
Hey Guys, I too have had hopes of finally going forward , starting a family with a man I met about 9 months ago only to discover he is still in love with his ex and is in pursuit of winning her heart . any way I am trusting God with my life completely and letting go to open myself to what He has for me ; if it is not the man that I thought was the one it will be better than him and with God I can trust that. so for all of you trust God enough to let go and let Him guide you to the plans He has made for you.. we may all have a “plan” but His is the “perfect” plan . I will be the first to say it is not easy because I do love him and daily I have to make a choice to lean on God and not my own understanding .. it hurts DEEP but perhaps God is still preparing my mate or preparing me for my mate . I love you all in Gods love be strong !!!! And ask God to mend your hearts and give you the understanding and to make you strong to hold on to waiting on Gods time for us.
Sette is what use to call me now its hey girl“Im hurting so bad right now. The man i love.Is not the same. We fought for 2 years to be together and now that we are together he has changed. I love him with all my heart and soul. I ask him to tell me if he doesnt want me anymore but he wont say it. But hes actions hurt. He goes out by himself now. Doesnt care if i go out alone. He says that i hurt him and made him cry and now.He cant see past that I dont know what to do. I know he has love for me. I ask him if he wants me to leave and says do what you want. I dont know what what to do. I love this man. but i aslo feel the difference i cry everyday. He wont say i love you anymore. How can i make this pain go away. he once fought for me but now that he has me i feel doesnt care anymore. I feel like i will be lost with out him.Help!
Sette, when I speak to you I speak from experience I have been through this same issue as you are going through now , and it hurts and burns deep I know … the title of this blog is perfectly stated “if you love something let it go” meaning when you truly love someone you have to be willing to love them unselfishly. If he acts like he can care less , or he seems to be hurt by something that happen between you two, or is not fighting to be with you , you have to find enough strength to walk away and if it is meant he’ll come back . But MOST importantly love yourself enough to know when you are not being loved they way you want to be loved , he may have love “for you” , but does he act like he is in love “with you” ? Not sure if you are a believer in God (Jesus) but I do not for a fact that when we put our focus on Him and off of ourselves He adds to our lives things and love that we should never imagine. I hope this helps I am praying for you, it REALLY does get better once you let go and let nature take control, what is meant is meant . God bless.
Thank you. TJ. I took your advice and left on friday. But it hurt so bad i felt my heart tearing in half. I love him so much. But he doesnt love me i guess. Then i just found out he has been seeing the mother of his son.I found a picture they had just taken. I love him with my all. But i also feel hatred and disgust when i see him. Its like i miss his touch and at the same time i dont want him to touch me. I have cried like i never have bfore. and hurt and felt pain like i never have. what is wrong with me?
These words have been so powerfull I was in tears.
Me and my Boyfriend of 1.5 years decided to part way last night (we initially broke up 1.5 months ago, but the thing had been dragging for long and he has been asking for time to think, etc).
I do love him dearly and too late I found out how embedded he is in my heart. Last night he said he is unsure about getting back together and that I cannot settle for someone like that and the best thing is to call it a day once and for all. He said he did not want to say goodbye but it was the best and I agreed. I do agree but my heart tells me otherwise, and when I am with him I can tell by the look in his eyes he still loves me, but I decided last night it was time to let go of him and let him find what he wants (he said he needed to meet new people and do new things). Logically, I am not expecting him to come back, so I am letting go with any expectations of him coming back, but in my heart I wish we were back together and gave it another go. I understand he does not love me as much as I do love him and I think that is proof enough for me to believe this is not a story with a happy ending for me. But I understand now I have to move on and love myself and maybe go back to God, as I have been away from him for so many years.
Sette there is nothing wrong with you, you need time to heal your wounds from being open to another person, and feelings of being betrayed after finding out about the relationship with his Childs mother. If this is not your first time being in love then you know what it feels like to be hurt like this but the bright side of that is you also know you’ll get over it just as you have past love(s). But if this is your first love or heart break take it from me and anyone else that is on this site “this to will pass” . Trust me in time wounds heal , but just try not to pick at the scabs or the healing could take a lot longer. And lastly, about feeling love and hate at the same time first the hate is really hurt turning into hate when you begin to stop hurting from this the hate will leave if you ask God to give you the strength to forgive him , and the love is because it takes time to fall out of it just as it took time to fall in … everything in time , I am speaking from experience . You are going to be just fine . Jeile gave some great advice at the end of her blog on 8/20/2008 she said “But I understand now I have to move on and love myself and maybe go back to God, as I have been away from him for so many years.” The only thing I would word differently in her sentence is the “maybe” go back to God part… You absolutely NEED God in all things God does not bless mess… God Bless You !
TJ thank you so much for your advice. It is true for me as well i have been away from god for many years now. I need his guidance. And yes he is my first actual true love and heartbreak. I am 29 and i guess never really had been in love until now. And you are right as the days go by i feel the pain easing little by little. I am not going to lie there are moments i just break down and cry. and hurt. but i am learning. I will learn from this things happen for a reason. And those words are true if it is meant to be it will be. if not i will always hold a special place for him in my heart. know that for once in my life i experienced what true love feels like. You have been wonderful thank you for your words of encouragment. I really needed them.May God Bess You always.
Dear Brandon,
I hope you have found a great and gentle love again or the same and better this time.
I used to mock this saying, “If you love something, let it go,…” Now I am the fool. I fell in love and I’m on the way to leave the country in a few months. For the man it may be yet another game, I have not seen him in three days. Oh, my heart is broken, but I know it will be as it may, if it’s real love. He wanted to marry me fast, so as to be able to go after me when I am in my homeland, but I said, wait, if it’s real, it will last and keep. I have family obligations there. We also don’t know each other well enough and if he is the one God has meant for me, we’ll have each other forever. My heart is too tender for all the pain that comes my way. I feel lonely and vulnerable.
My heart goes out to all of you, and I can relate as I am almost 60 and divorced, and thought I had finally found my soulmate 3 years ago. However, it seems the “happily ever after” I thought I’d found is not to be. I want to insert another quote I found and hope it is helpful to others…
“Love comes to those who still hope although they’ve been disappointed; to those who still believe; and those who have the courage and faith to build trust again.”
Let’s hope, for all of us, that the one we have let go will come back to us and that we will find the courage and faith to trust again…
My heart aches today … Carolyn, thanks for your words … I have loved and I keep hope that I will trust and love again . My heart hurts so much right now as I am finding out the one I love loves another. I have to keep the hope as you said becasue this is not my first heart break and it gets hard sometimes to keep hoping … I thought he was the one too… the crazy thing is somewhere in me I still do .
dude, i know how you feel. my best friend and loving companion just left me. it was all my fault to. there is this stuff on the market that is kinda like weed. well i got it to that heavy and thats pretty much when we started breaking up. she wasnt seeing me for who i was and forgot who i was, and i just hope that one day she will come back to me so that i can show her the man i really can be.
This page has helped me so much in not feeling so alone as I go through a heart wrenching situation in a 4.5 year relationship. He also is asking for time to think about what he wants out of life and I am forced to let him go and do whatever he feels that he needs to do for him to be happy. I pray that God will bring me through this in a way where I can be happy and whole again. I don’t know what God’s plan is for me. But I trust and have faith in Him that whatever happens will be for the best.
This has come to me at the time when i needed it the most.I have been into a relation for the past 15 yrs.We met and drifted apart only to meet again and get into an intense realtion.Things didnt work out the way we had planned and he finally couldnt take the toll and broke off in the most painfull and humiliating way.This was around three months back.We have a daughter whom he swore he could lay his life for ,but he didnt care to call for her second birthday.He faltly refused to even acknowledge his relation to that little angel.After all these days i have realised that he is not worth waiting for because no Dad in the world can ever turn a blind eye for his own baby.It breaks my heart to think about the times we have had together.But life goes on.When i read all the posts above i could actually relate to each one.believe me its the most difficult of things to let go ,but if you dont then it becomes even more messy……………….have faith in yourself and things will fall in place.
I am in the same situaiton. My boyfriend of 2.5 years is starting medicine and is going away. He says he’s confused because he still loves me but needs to be alone to get through all this. So I set him free, I let him go. He says I’m the right one but he needs to figure out how to get through the killer of a medicine course etc. I love him with all my heart and it’s the toughest thing ever because he’s my best friend but right now I know that this is the right things. Somehow in my heart I think that this is all part of the plan. I honestly do believe we’re meant to be together it’s just not our time. I hope we find one another again.
My boyfriend of 2 years and 8 months just broke up with me 4 days ago. He did it over the internet. He won’t call me and he won’t answer my phone calls. This has been an absolute nightmare for me. I love him still after all this pain. We shared so many firsts..He was my first true love and he always will be no matter what. Its so hard to let this go. We talked about marriage, having children, growing old together. Our futures were fulfilled. But now he doesn’t want to be “tied down” to me. It’s hard to swallow, but ultimately if his heart is set on something, I have no power. I don’t think I’ll ever love anybody the way I love him. Is it crazy for me to hope that one day we’ll get back together? I just want him to be happy and I want what’s best for him. But i KNOW in my heart I won’t ever find someone else who understood me like him, who made me happy like him, who knows everything about me like him, who knows my past and what I’ve been through, who deep down loves me like he does. I’m going through hell right now. What should I do? I know that we all just have to have faith in the Lord. I’m so glad I found this website. I felt like noone really understood how bad I was hurting. It helps to see that people are experiencing what you are too. All of you are in my prayers, with family, friends, and support we can all get through these difficult times in our lives. I’m all ears.
I just read Lizzy B’s comment. I really feel for you. I keep playing my situation over and over in my head and I’ve talked to alot of people about it. It sounds like both of our situations are out of our hands as hard as that may be. I don’t know if your situation is like this but, I think at some point in some guys’ life after they’ve been “tied down” for a while, they long for freedom especially when they’re young. They might think “where did my life go? i want to have freedom, and experience the single life.” As much as that hurts, thats what some guys do when they break up after a long term relationship. Eventually, they will want to settle down and get their lives together and then they will realize what a good thing they let go. And I still have a little glimmer of hope that one day me and my ex will get back together. I saw everything in him: my life, my love, my future, my strength, and my best friend. And now he’s not there. It’s extremely hard being without him, and it’s even harder that he’s completely ignoring me. I know I did everything to try and fix us, but I guess he can’t face me right now. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t want to see me hurt, or when he sees me he’ll wonder if he made the right decision, or if this is his way of completely getting over me. What do you guys think? If he truly loved me, he always will; he can’t just shut of his emotions over the period of six days. This is so hard but it does get better in time.
I think many of us experience something like this in our life. I met someone two years ago and we started an intense rollercoaster ride. Early on I felt he was the one and he felt the same although he was more cautious to admit it because he was scared. A little under a month ago he moved out. He said he still loved me, but just didn’t want to work on us anymore (we’d been having a rough patch). I tried (like Sarah) everything to keep us together, but he seemed set on his ways. Things got nasty, words were exchanged, and for both of us it got to a point where we got tired. I finally chose to agree with him and let go, I stopped calling, I stopped asking to work things out, I just let go…today he asked me to meet him and in a reversal of roles, he is now the one who doesn’t want us to give up on our love. Like you Sarah, it was all I had wanted to hear, but now, now that he is saying it, I am the one who is unsure…in the time we spent apart, I opened my eyes and figured out what I want in life and what I deserve and what parts of our relationship had been actual plans and what were just dreams and unfulfilled words. I honestly dont know where we will end up, but right now we are spending some time apart and going with “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours. If it doesn’t, it was never meant to be.”
Your heart may be breaking right now, but everything happens for a reason and maybe it is time for you to figure out what it is that you want and put yourself first. Do you want to be with someone who can hurt you as much as you’ve been hurt? We all deserve love, respect, happiness. Don’t settle for anything less.
To end on another quote: “Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should”
Jamie, you’re comment was so thoughtful. I started to tear up when I read it. I talked to my ex last night (over the internet) and I told him almost everything I needed to. But he seems set that we will not get back together. I know I need to accept this, but it’s so painful. I do want myself to be happy, and there’s no way that I want to go through this again. But, when I was with him I was the happiest person ever. I guess I was too blinded with love to see that he wasn’t happy. Last night he told me that he didn’t know if he ever loved me. But how could he stay with me for almost three years and not love me, or at least care? He may not be “in love” with me anymore, but when you truly love someone, it doesn’t ever change. You may move on and find other people, but the love will remain the same if it’s true. I can’t speak for him, but I know that I will always care for him no matter what happens with us. He also told me that maybe one day we could be friends again; talk on the phone and maybe hang out sometimes… but we had to act like friends, not a couple. That will be hard, but I’d rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all. But Jamie, I do agree with you that we do deserve happiness and love. Everyone tells me that when you find “the one” for you, you’ll know it. Not only will you be sure of your relationship and know that you want to be with them and make them happy, they will feel the exact same way as you. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason we are going through this, and it is making us stronger for it. Kind of like that saying “what doesn’t break you, makes you.” Jamie, I don’t exactly know your full story so its hard to say anything, but right now it seems like you two need some time apart to figure out what you want. It is REALLY hard, but surround yourself with people who love you and it might help to take your mind off of things. I don’t know exactly how you feel, but I do have an idea of what you’re going through. Two years is a long time to spend with somebody. I know how it feels to lie in bed at night and sob because he’s not there to talk to you, and to dream about him in the middle of the night and it seems so real only to wake up to the hard reality of things. I know how it feels to think that you’re perfectly fine one minute, and then the next tears are rolling down your face because something reminds you of him. I know how it feels to constantly wonder if he’s even thinking of you, and how he feels now. I know how hard it is. And although we don’t know eachother, we can help eachother to get through this…all of us can. I’m so glad I found this site, it has helped alot of people I think.
Sarah,
You helped me in ways you will never know. My husband of 7 years walked out a month ago, and left me with the mortgage and all the responsibilities. He’s moved back in with mom (rent free), and feels he is no way tied to anything we had together. I do lay there at night and wonder where he is, and if he misses me, and I want that to go away, I want to not care anymore, but I am so scared that when that happens, it means I won’t love him anymore. His mom tells me it was a “freedom” issue as you said earlier. How do you wake up one day and feel so “tied down”? Seven years of marriage, and I didn’t deserve a better explanation? Thanksgiving is less than a week away, and I ask the Lord everyday to show me other things in my life I need to be thankful for. I began praying for us to reunite, but now I am praying for God’s will to happen. Deep down I know I hope we get back together, but I don’t know anymore if it’s meant to be. I love Manius, and I always will. I am sitting here crying so hard, I can barely see to type this. Yes, I love Manius, but I am trying really hard to let him go.
I just want to say thanks for everyone for sharing their story here – it’s a nice reminder that I’m not alone. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of five years and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My emotions since we broke up a week ago have ranged from depression, sadness, hopelessness, to just being numb. I was in denial at first – I didn’t want to believe we really were going our separate ways. But as each day passes, it becomes more real, and it hurts even more. As much as part of me aches for him and misses him and wish we can just be together again, part of me knows as well that we can’t go back. I know he needs his time to figure out things on his own, and I know I should do the same – I know all this, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Everyone keeps telling me time will help – and I believe it. But right now, time is moving so slowly. I look forward to the day when both of us are happy – whether together or not.
Sarah, thank you for your words.
I’ve actually been doing just what you suggested and think everyone should do the same…surround yourself by people and activities you love, enjoy life, find the positive things in your life, throw a holiday party just because you can, yet at the same time give yourself some time to grieve, because otherwise you’ll never get a chance to process it, i.e. I threw a party recently and cried when I was prepping for it because I wished he would be there, but after those tears, I put those thoughts aside and actually had a pretty nice good time.
Anyways, my story is still a rollercoaster…that day he basically told me he didn’t want to be with anyone else and wanted us to try things slowly again and I’m still unsure. Can you go from living together to dating? From seeing each other every day to going on a few dates a week? Can we get past all the issues we had in the past and truly grow into the people and couple we want to be? Is love enough?
Sometimes I feel like we are both holding on to this “idea” of getting back together, so that it makes the break-up easier…holding on, until it naturally fades away, then at times I try to picture myself with someone else and I don’t want to. I don’t want to make memories with anyone else, yet do I want to risk falling back in the patterns that got us to this point?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s easiest to just rip it off like a bandaid so you have time to grieve and can then move on, then at times I think people just give up too quickly and in my case, where we’re both holding on, shouldn’t we give it one last real chance?
I am so grateful for this site and knowing I am not alone… I experienced the greatest love that I never thought was possible, for 9 months. That is after 2 marriages and another couple of serious relationships.
Today we broke up and I’m trying to let go. I’m trying to figure it out how do you do it? He’s been trying to break up with me for months but always came back, but could never be at peace because I’m 12 years older and have children. Yet he loves me I know that, I feel it beyond doubt… I know he needs to go and figure out his life without me, but knowing him chances are he won’t find another one that he can truly love. Yet I know that me holding on will prevent him from making a decision if he ever wanted to come back and stay together. This quote has basically summed up everyhting for me. I know I have to let go of him, that it’s ok to keep my love for him safe, and let God do the rest. If it’s meant to be, he will be back, if it wasn’t, I will find peace eventually. Right now the pain is excruciating but I’m trying to not focus on it. I will focus on the fantastic time together, on the hope in us being together, and on God being there and directing everyhting the way it’s best… Thank You!
I found this site because I was looking for that saying, If you love something let it go, and i stumbled upon this site. I believe everything happens for a reason, nothing is by chance. I have been deeply in love with someone who is also 8 years younger than me and I truly understand Mayah’s situation. Me and my friend have been going back and forth for over 5 years. We have gone our separate ways and have let each other go for different reasons other than not loving each other because that is one thing that we do know for certain, that we love each other more than we thought humanly possible and we trust each other beyond any doubt. I have never met anyone who I am and feel and who allows me to be so free to be me and live my life and I do the same for him. We have argued maybe 2 x in 5 years. We cannot stay mad or angry at the other, in some ways we can’t do any wrong in each others eyes. Blind love maybe, I don’t know. But somehow during each separation we found our way back to each other. Now this time is hard for us because where we went our separate ways, we are not and we are trying to be friends, but it is hard because he is now involved with someone else of whom he loves but he can’t get me out of his heart and our his mind. I am not sure what is to become of us. In order for him to hold on to her, he has to let me go, but he doesn’t want to let me go, cause he doesn’t want to lose me.
He needs time to grow and to learn to that he can appreciate the gift that we have, the connection and bond that is not there. The question is, what will happen this time around, if I let him go, will he come back like he always do, or will I even come back like I always do. At what point does the cycle end and the gift that was given is lost.
I feel for you all, I truly do. I never thought one person could feel so much happiness and love,…and within a few short weeks be feeling more pain, agony and desperation.
I had an extremely intense wirlwind of a romance with the most wonderful woman I have ever known. We both fell hopelessly in love but were only together for 4 months… she tells me she has to ‘sort herself out’,.. that she has never been alone and needs to get a divorce (she’s seperated) etc before she can fully commit to anyone emotionally. I fell apart infront of her 3 times, pleading, begging and laying my heart on the line,… she stood firm. I felt totally and utterly broken. In pieces and like the entire world was crashing down around me. That was about 6 weeks ago.
I have to let her go because this is destroying me. I’ve never loved so deep or ever felt that someone is ‘the one’ the way I do about her. I told her I cannot be ‘friends’ with her as it is too painful.
You cannot make someone love you. You cannot make someone want to be with you if they do not wish to. You can, however, make someone NOT want to be with you by pushing them and pushing them. The best thing you can do for yourself is distance yourself completely. Firstly, this helps you to begin healing. Think about this for a moment,..if you broke your arm would you attempt an arm wrestle? Of course not, so why, when our hearts are broken do we attempt to listen to our hearts? We need to think with our heads and we know that the only way forward is THROUGH. Everything DOES happen for a reason and you know what? Everything WILL be ok, either way, it WILL be. Secondly, they need that distance from us to think about us and give them the chance to miss us. The only way I want my darling love back is if she comes back to me completely on her own. That she has realised we are meant to be and that she truly loves me. I don’t want her to come back out of pity or guilt.
I know how badly you’re suffering, I really do. I am suffering too, but now I am accepting that I will hurt but hurting is part of healing and we must accept that too. I hope and pray my sweetheart returns someday, but in the meantime all I can do is,…. nothing. All I can do is work on myself and give her the space she needs.
Peace all.
Hi Tiba,
It’s so comforting to know that someone understands what I’m going through. I would love to be able to communicate and share with you if you feel the same way just because our situation is somewhat similar, and sometimes I don’t know if I’m blinded by love and our age difference is really an obstacle and if I really shouldn’t try to hold on. After we broke up on Sunday, he called me on Monday since he was in the area and came over again, after I thought I will never see him, and it blows my mind. I need to find peace and make a decision. If you are ok to share, you can email me at mayahstarfish@hotmail.com.
Danny, thanks for your wisdom. Even though I knew that distancing might be the best thing to heal and then make a decision, I never thought of the metaphor you wrote about the broken arm and it makes so much sense. How can I make a wise decision with a broken heart… However it is very difficult to listen to my mind instead when my heart is yelling and screaming so loud… Acceptance and taking the pain until it calms down takes a lot of courage that I’m not sure I have… Thanks again and peace to all those tormented hearts… I mean, love is God given and it’s supposed to be beautiful, comforting and pleasurable, not painful, or am I missing something…
Mayah, hon, you know what? I don’t know you but I believe that you are stronger than you think you are. I read somewhere that the pain we feel through heartbreak is natures way of giving us a nudge in the right direction. Don’t fight it, just feel it, accept it, and allow yourself to let it go. The more you try to fight it, the worse it will feel. Trust me, I totally understand what you’re going through because I’m in the same dark place. The place where each day feels like a lifetime. Over the last few weeks I have read more books than I have ever read before, just trying to find something to bring me comfort and relief from this pain.
Noone knows what the future holds, but whatever happens, you WILL be ok. Things WILL improve. The only thing you can do now is take care of YOU. Get yourself in a place you are strong enough to deal with what is happening. I have learnt that I need to be happy within myself and not give anyone else the responsibility of MAKING me happy. Noone can do that but me,…and I need to work on that!
If it were meant to be,… it WILL be. Nothing can stand in the way of that. For now focus on you and wait for the day that you wake up and realise that the pain has gone, and you no longer hurt,… it’s coming, I promise.
-Peace x
i to lost the love of my life for the 2nd time around. when we reconciled the last time we both agreed it was faith that bought us togather. this time it was for a yr, then his ex used emotional blackmail to get him to return to her. he contact me after a wk of going back to her. telling me how much he missed me and wanted to see me again. well i let him go and he to is the love of my life. i have a lot of faith and know he will return again. i have this deep feeling that is eating away at me inside because i know he is unhappy, but it’s like i told him i to could have used emptional blackmai to keep him only if he has to stay for that reason that i don’t want him. my friends have all told me to let him go, but i know what i feel inside and truedly believe he will return, only it will be up to me to decide if i want to continue the relationship. only time will tell. in the meantime life goes on. and it’s nice to know i’m not the only one feeling this pain. god bless you and only god knows what he has for us. take care and don’t loose faith.
i broke up a 27 yr relationship with the love of my life because of so many broken promises that i would change. i never thought she would leave me completely, now i’m trying to chg but it’s to late she found another. i hope he makes her happier than i ever did. she was loyal and stayed with me until i pressed my luck once to many times. but i have faith we will be togather again.
[...] There is a saying that goes, “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, th… [...]
God is my healer! I’m in so much pain right now, but just like everyone said in this blog, Let him go, and that’s what I’m going to do, let him go and let him be. If he really values me then he’ll come back, if not then God for sure has someone better for me. His thoughts are higher than mine, so I’m going to stop questioning why, and start asking what does He want me to do? I mean I’m sure all of this is part of His plan, I believe in my heart that he is the one for me, but maybe God wants something from me before…who knows…Well anyways it was great reading this, it really was. God bless you all…and have faith in God, knowing that He does all things for a reason. There’s always a purpose
Gosh, you spoke these words back in 2006!! It just goes to show the timeless power of love. The power of words. And to see the impact that your words are still having on souls sharing a common cord – the power of agreement.
Thank you for bearing your soul – releasing and brandishing your vulnerabilities. It obviously has bought about healing for many hearting souls to include mine. It’s nice to know that you aren’t on an island all alone. That others are experiencing the same challenges and heartaches. It’s even better when there is a place of refuge where you can gather for strength and to refill your reserves. Thank you for allowing God to use your pain as a vessel to bring healing and insight to others.
when I first posted a message on here I thought I had just lost the love of my life. Then on my second post he was the one who wanted to reconcile and I was unsure. Now just a month or so later, I am certain the best thing to happen to me was him walking out the door. While it caused me a lot of heartache, anyone willing to do that, is not the man for me. I’ve actually found someone else and while it’s still early, I already know he’s much better than my ex. I know not everyone will experience it as I did, but I guess all I want to say is hold on, stay strong, focus on you and your happiness and no matter how bad it seems, it will get better. A friend gave me the following quote: whether it is clear to you or not, undoubtly the universe is unfolding as it should.
I understand the pain you are all felling… I too am going through this pain.. I am only 15 but i already have had my expierence in life..i met the love of my life a year ago… Today i feel like if im dying without him… For him i ran away from my house when i was just 14… I left my family for him… I left everything for him… A lot of stuff happened the one year i was with him… He hurt me badly also… Now i ask my self ‘will i die without him?’ and my answer is yes… If you want to know more about my story just leave a comment and i will send you my email address
I also found this website in a moment of hurt and hope….I met the love of my life, and the past few months have been rocky. I had to let him go with the hope and belief that he will come back. Thanks to everyone who posted here, it’s comforting to know so many people have done the same and come out with stronger relationships, or learned from what they went through.
I can’t wait to have him back and I will post it here as soon as I do!
Lupe, you are not going to die without him … take this from someone that is much older than you and has had many more heartaches than you. This feeling is temporary and you are not alone; just know that there are others including myself that has survived disapointments and heartache and so will you . Each day you’ll have different emotions about it but one day it won’t have any more power over you emotionally you have to believe that .. take it from someone that has been there before and just came out of it recently … Take your troubles to GOD HE is real and HE does answer … God Bless you
its me again. lupe. well its official he broke my heart. i just recently found out that he was cheating on me. he told me that she was just a game and i was the one he loved. he told me that if i would leave him that i would not find someone better than him. he said that that i would regret leaving him because that would mean that i spent a year with him for nothing. for him i ran away from my house when i was only 14. now i am fifteen. i dont know what to do. i mean i want to call him but i know that is not right…. someone please help me out..
Lupe,
If there is one thing in my life that I regret it was leaving my parents at a young age like you. My life would have been considerably different had I stayed with them. I would recommend that you immediately make amends and go back to them. They will be there for you until they die and are guaranteed to always love you in a way that no boyfriend or husband ever can.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve written this post, and life has changed considerably for me. I reach out to all of you who have felt the pain of losing the one that you love. My outlook on life right now is to “Live for the moment” enjoy what you have while you have it. The pain that you feel now tells you that, at least, you had something to lose – even if, 10 years from now you can’t quite understand what you were so upset about.
Sincerly,
Brandon Erik Bertelsen
The posts here by danny are very helpful and comforting.Thanks a ton for sharing the example of the broken arm.Its such a complex thing explained in such a simple way.I have been going through the pain and i know how disiilusioned one feels at times about the future and what it holds for us.But, i agree that what ever happens happens for a reason.
Well,the love of my life did call me up and wanted to meet me the next day.I was on cloud nine but the very next day he called up and told me not to meet him.Anyhow inspite of that i went ahead and met him.He is in a very confused state right now.Wants to get back but dosent want it the next moment.I would like to know what should i do?Whenever i speak to him about getting back together he goes back in his shell and his denial mode.
Any suggestions?
Hi Nitu-
The same thing has happened to me, and as much as I want to say he will come back to you, and he probably will, you have to concentrate on yourself. If I have learned anything from what I am going through with my boyfriend, is that make yourself happy first and foremost. You have to love yourself 100% and know that anyone in your life is lucky to be there. Don’t ever humble yourself or chase him in this type of situation.
That being said…be strong. He obviously wants you in his life. The same thing happened to me a month ago. We were together, went on a break, got back together and then more time apart…he came back a few times saying he wanted me in his life, but he wasn’t ready.
That’s when I had to say, I love you but I can’t see you if we’re not together. You have to take a stand and have the confidence that in the time apart he will realize what he could lose. Being on a leash waiting for someone is not good for a relationship or your self esteem.
I say all this because one of my close friends went through the same thing, and she got back together with her love after 4 motnhs apart, after she told him she needed to time to herself and he came back to her.
So, I would say let him be. Work on yourself. Be happy. I know it’s hard, but he will come back to you. But you have to be strong and happy and love yourself. The Universe will know when the timing is right and will bring you back together.
I hope this helps.
Thanks Erica!!! its so heartning to know that there are so many people to share your pain with………..i hope i stick to my resolve and stay away from him.The more you run away from the urge the more stronger it becomes,but like you said it has to be done any how!!! Sometimes you just know whats right but just need a nudge in the direction.
Ya! your post definetly is comforting
Of course…I know it is hard to do, and it took me months to feel better-through all the ups and downs. But deep down, I know he loves me deeply, and I have faith in the Universe bringing us back together when it is right.
it’s easy to get discouraged, I have several times, especially when I still believe he is the love of my life.
But there is nothing worse than rushing something and having it fall apart again. Timing is everything, and as a very impatient person myself, it has been the most challenging part. But I’m proud of myself for coming so far, and for being happy with who I am again. I wasn’t happy or stable for a few months, and it would not have been healthy to get back together when I was. I learned I could only make myself happy and depending too much on him was not good for me.
Not everyone agrees with it, but try reading “The Secret”…it really helped me. If not, just have faith that it was meant to be, it will be, that he loves you, and that letting go will bring you back what you want most…once you learn from everything and the timing is right.
Believe in yourself, that’s the important thing.
I may sound like a cheesy philosopher, but I have gone through SO much, and I feel like a stronger person for it. I know when we get back together, it will be so much better. I have just faith that the love we have for each other is stronger than small problems.
Please don’t hesitate to continue writing here. I have read so many things to get me through the hardest days.
True!! “the secret” works but at times you feel as if you are going to fall apart and nothing seems to make sense.Later when you are in a better state of mind you think back and realise that you have pushed the person away by being too clingy and impatient.I had almost accepted the fact that we are not destined to be together,and kept my cool ,but there he was calling me up and chatting as if everything was back to normal only to once again create confusion and dilema in my life.
sometimes i want to scream and shout and ask him if he is been fair to me.To come back to me at his will only to leave me stranded and justify his actions with excuses of needing space and time………….or worse being extremly busy to sit and analyse the Why’s and whats…………….but as someone rightly said you cant make someone love you!!!!
I know what you are saying, but a couple of things…
If you give up and think negative thoughts, they will only get worse. So again, try to think positively, and focus on yourself! Of course it is always important to be realistic, but it is not about making anyone love you…if the love is there, it doesn’t just disappear like that!
This time apart is going to teach you about yourself-the thing is, as the person who did not start the break, we don’t have a choice. So keep up positive thoughts, as much as you feel like you are going to fall apart and it doesn’t make sense, write down all those feelings-then write down everything positive you can…about yourself, about the situation, about him. If you truly want him back, it can happen, but the important thing is to attract as much happiness, positivity and calm into your life as possible.
I never once accepted that we weren’t meant to be together because in my heart, I know we are. I can’t make him do anything, but I know he loves me and that’s why I have not given up.
I am only saying all this because I was where you were at 2 months ago, and I know, it’s awful!!! He told me how much he missed me, how much he loved me, that he would do anything for me, that he woke up at night because I wasn’t there with him-everything I wanted to hear-but still that he wasn’t ready. So I know how confusion can feel!!
So at that point, I had to be strong. When I felt my weakest inside, I had to be strong. “Fake it until you make” is sort of another way of thinking about it…every day, take a little step. And be proud of yourself for getting through it-it’s the hardest thing in life to go through this kind of agony. I had to let him go because I deserve happiness-and I know he needs to work out whatever he is going through without me. It wouldn’t be healthy for either one of us.
But in the end, it’s worth it if you learn from it, find your happiness and are reunited with your love when the time is right.
Hi! Erica,
I cant believe how can soemone not fall in love with such an understanding person like you?How can someone keep away from a heart, full of compassion and concern for others? But as they say God only makes the deserving and the strong go through trials,cuz he knows that they will come out winners.
I am in a much better state of mind after all these months.There were times when i didint have a clue what was happening around.I just couldnt take in the fact that something so precious has slipped past my fingers like sand.I didnt know how to go about life without being in touch with him.Thankfully, i had a lot of friends who supported me and held on.Made me see that i had a lot of other qualities that made me worth the happiness i deserved.
A lot of good too has happened during this period of separation.I could give time to my kids and did a lot to constructive things.I lost huge amount of weight(mostly the result of my mental state).This has been the most trying time of my life.Something i put so much at stake for which bombed real bad.
I know deep in my heart that he cares a hell lot for me.I could see that in his eyes when i met him a couple of times.He is still in the denial mode.
I know time is the greatest healer and with it a lot of things fall back into place.
love is blind.i really thought she loved me and maybe she does or did? 8 years of my life she aborted my child the first 6 monthes and then never wanted another one.was always for herself and very independant.never wanted to make our place her home.both parents died on her i was always there she left me cold no goodbye no phone call
nothing.moved out while i was at work. always said “do you love me” and i always said of course..and still do very much its been a week now she has her own place and was planning a move behind my back this whole time. she didnt take anything of mine but left with a clean break
now i feel like i lost my soul.i know there are other fish in the sea but i wanted the golden mermaid i thought i had her.i just want her back so much she says i was verb abusive mistrusting but in truth i always had weird feelings about her.like she was happier alone and she felt more like a roomate but she was all that i have in this world she may never come back i know time heals all wounds but
some times it does not because if you alow this person back in your life they caused damage to your heart by being away for days or even years and broke the original bond…experiancing other people etc…its hard to deal with those emotions and make something work when it seems the damage was damaged more because that person decided they were going to take chances with your emotions and then have the nerve to come back and want you…and you want them too im saying its really hard. but love is a powerful thing both people have to want it to work again or it never will.now my life just changed in one day and im in shock still meanwhile i feel like shes liveing her life starting over and left you with the hole in the heart its just not fair
HI Nitu,
Thank you for the sweet compliment, but I also have to admit I am able to pass on the support, advice and encouragement as a result of a very good friend to me…who was not a close friend at first, but through it all has been so supportive and encouraging. It was three days into my break with my boyfriend, and I had no one to turn to and I was such a mess-I didn’t even recognize myself. She had been through the exact same thing with her boyfriend, had gone through so much and now they are back together and deeply in love. So it was nice to have someone still believe in the power of love and getting back together.
So I pass on what I have learned from someone else, and then for myself….be true to yourself, be proud of yourself for healing, for realizing you always deserve the best. You can only make yourself happy, and whoever comes into your life is lucky to be there and share in that happiness.
That being said…I have had some very dark moments, lots of crying, lots of doubt….I know I am strong now, and that I sound confident, but it has taken me months to get here, so please don’t be hard on yourself!
I truly do believe is the love is there, and two people are meant to be, it will work out. That’s why I have moved forward with my life, but not moved on from loving this man so deeply. And for holding on the hope and faith that he and I will be back together. I know the last time I saw him our connection was stronger than ever and I know he is in love with me, but he is also scared and confused. So I had to do what was best for me and walk away for the time being.
A lot of good from the time apart has come to me as well, but it has not been easy.
If you want to email me personally, you can. But you are doing so well, just know that! And it will get better each day, I promise!
hi everybody,
i loved the quote. i had a relationship end about 8 months ago and we were dating for about 2 1/2 years and somebody told him that i was cheating on him and he believed his friend over me so he broke up with me and now i’m still trying to let him go after all this time and i can’t because i love him too much to let him go and i’m praying he’ll come back to me i want to spend the rest of my life with him. i just wish he would believe me and i don’t think he’s coming back because he’s afraid that it’s gonna happen again!!
what do you do when you miss her so much..what do you do when you wonder if shes living it up in her new apt
with complete freedom while your still living in our old apt
in misery and confusion…wondering if she ever really loved you.or if shes even thinking of how she left you….how you must feel and its only been a week do some people take longer to come back around or should i just forget my love for her and exept she my never want to hear or see my face again?
Hi! Erica,
True when you read the other posts from these people who are going through the same what you and me have been through.You just cant resist to help and convince them that its just a phase and it will soon be over.That things which seems real unbearable right now wont be that bad with time.But,no matter how much friends and wellwishers advice us,we learn only when we go through the phase and endure the pain and emerge out much stronger.
I want to tell Carlos to give his girl space and time to think about him and really miss him …………wether she comes back or not purely depends on the depth of the relationship and how much it meant for both.We need to accept that each person comes in our life for a reason,much beyond our scope of understanding and knowledge,only HE above knows the bigger set of plans.
So, enjoy each moment with them and give them the chance to be truthful to you.What’s the whole point of hanging around with you if they dont feel it within their hearts?its better to be the bad one and break soemones heart and move away than to keep pretending for the sake of not hurting the other person.
If you cling on to the person too much you are only going to make their resolve stronger.So, give them the time and space and things wil surely work out.Have faith!!!
Erica,I would like to write to you personaly,pls let me know your mail id.
Hi Nitu,
Please send me your email and I’ll write to you directly.
It sounds like you are already feeling much stronger, and that’s wonderful. Each day gets a little bit easier, you feel stronger, and the situation becomes clearer.
It’s also important to see where you are right and wrong for the other person…it helps to have a good idea of what went wrong, so that when you get back together, you can start from an ever better place.
But never give up the hope, that’s my belief. Visualize what you want, and work on yourself in the meantime. It is true what you said…those that go through difficult times come out stronger and can handle it at the same time.
Send me your email and we can continue this with each other.
All the best,.
Erica
neptune09@optonline.net
erica…why do you think shes not calling at all…im getting silent call but not sure if its her…i got that call as i was tossing the rest of her out of our nyc apt…and its fri all i can think is shes partying and not even having a thought about how much she messed up this relationship and hurt
me i feel its over because she basicaly started over..and i feel she lonley too..exept for her friends pumping her up
now im just angry and starting to hate that b…….
HI Carlos,
I am no expert at relationships, I just speak from everything I have gone through in the last 4 months, and everything my good friend has passed on to me through her similar experience.
I know how much it hurts when your phone is silent, the text messages don’t come, you don’t know what they’re thinking…it’s the hardest thing not knowing and not hearing from that person when all you can think about is them.
But I had to learn the hard way, and no matter what, you have to think of yourself too. Be sure everything you do right now is making you happy and healthier.
Give her space. I know it’s hard. But if you spent 8 years together, she will not forget about you at all. I promise. Silence is the hardest part for the person who was left, but if you give her that space, she will also come to realize what she is missing.
Take this time to think about all the wonderful things about your relationship…but also the things that aren’t great. No relationship is perfect. So when you come together again, you can start from an honest place.
So, I really have no answer for you, I wish I did. All I know is that I feel good today because I let him go, I worked on making myself happy and healthy, and I never gave up hope. But we all have our own pride and dignity, and it is an awful feeling to calll someone or beg.
I promise it will get easier day by day. I wouldn’t be saying that if it wasn’t true for me….a few months ago, I was a mess, and I feel like a better person today.
And….I just heard form my love today, and I let him go., So you never know….
Space and time. If the love is there, then don’t give up hope.
Hi! Erica,
its smritimadaan@gmail.com
Take care!
thank you erica..indeed its very hard to not think of her espeshially when i didnt even talk to her that day exept for
ill call you back honey im at work right now….ya know
she plotted this move and waited for the right time to go because i was on vaction the very next day with my birthday 3 days later..i really dont think there is hope
for us anyone that can just walk out of your life like that
meant it…her aunt said she asnt eating for 3 days and di not want to go out anywhere so i dont know..then she put a restraining order against me ? so i could not contact her at work or her family..i just dont get it…people are not into relationships anymore…and just want there complete freedom..im guessing this is the route she chose..i hope not..but if she did come back we have even bigger prob..
because she did this to me…a place in nyc is expensive she spent about 3000 moving…i dont see her coming back
she could atleast be my friend for all we had togather
i dont think she found someone else.but you never know
i think she was just selfish and wanted her own life
to begin with..now im stuck picking up the pieces of mine
its crazy like all a dream but dam it is real michelle is gone
and i dont completely understand why??????
Erica,
Your words are so comforting. I would love for you to join us at http://www.thelovelogic.com to help others who are hurting through breakups.
http://www.thelovelogic.com is a place for all, to be comforted, and to comfort,…please join us. Your words are helping me even though they are not directed at me, and I’m sure you could help many others by joining us and sharing your wisdom. :)
Everyone else, if you’re hurting, join us,….share your pain with us and let us all help each other.
I think about these words every day, but I don’t have enough strength to let go.
I met him 4 years ago and we had an instant connection and became best friends. Over the years I fell deeply in love with him, in my heart I knew he loved me — but was not “in love” with me. We dated briefly but he told me one day that he was not ready for a relationship — that he had been in a relationship his whole adult life and needed to be on his own for a while — and that we should go back to being just friends. So, even though I still loved him, I agreed — I forced myself not to show my deep feelings for him and we went back to life as friends. Then he met an old college friend and immediately started dating her exclusively — I was completely and utterly devastated. But he promised me we would still talk and still be friends. Then, within a few days he has essentially cut me out of his life. We used to talk every day — now nothing. I know he is in a new relationship — she is newly divorced — and that she is now the top priority in his life. But how can he just forget about me — forget how much we meant to one another, how much we have been through in the last 4 years?
I have this feeling in the bottom of my hear that we are truly meant to be together — that he is “the one”. And I can’t seem to let go of him — let go of the hope that he will see that I am perfect for him. I know I should just say goodbye and let him get on with his life, because I love him enough to want him to be happy, even if it’s not with me. And for once in my life I am putting someone else’s well being before my own. I know all this in my head — that I have to let go — but or some reason my heart just won’t let me.
This is a follow up of my first entry. The man that my heart will always be with of whom we can never live apart from each other are still friends. We had a time where we were apart from not speaking for almost a month, but we couldn’t last that much longer. I think he and I will always be that first no matter what. But the ongoing thing will be is will we no matter what, no matter who we meet, can we be just friends and nothig more, that is our challenge. We are so drawn and so connected to each other on every level that we can’t seem to stop ourselves knowing that we could possibly hurt others that we care about or love. Talking to him again, especially these past several days have given me new life all over again, its not that I feel dead without him, but when we are together on any terms, I get a boost, a high type feeling that is unlike any other. I wish I can say what it is is about this man that takes me to that point, but I am not sure. The love that we have for each other is the most real love, the most secure love and the most magical love that any one person can imagine. Heck I’m jealous of our feelings for each other, cause even though we love each other, we can’t be with each other. We are so close but so far apart. We are going to do our best to do this friendship thing without it getting in the way of the people we are seeing now. There’s hope in this. . .
I am at the point in my life where I want to settle down and know my future- but my boyfriend says he’s too scared right now to give that committment to me.
I am trying to decide- do I let him go if I know he can’t give me what I want after living together for 2 years.
He thinks if I truly love him I will give him as much time as he needs.
I think he’s looking for a way out?
holy f…kin shit i saw her today at target…it was a moment in time ill never forget..we made eye contact for 10 sec.
and what i saw in her eyes was i dont give a shit about you anymore…i was nicely dressed…she looked like crap
and stressed out..i made only a hand jesture to call me
and she just blurted out ” what are you doing here”? i said
with fear because she has a temp restraining order on me
im here to get bird food …the bird didnt do anything to me
and she replied yea right?…so i kept it cool as i walked toward the front exit and said im sorry it didnt work out for us michelle …i love you always…its been hard..im not gonna ever hurt you you dont have to worry…thank you for 8 years i love you and im leaving now i dont want you to make a seen here i love you michelle …im out…this is what i said..i wanted to say soo much more but i didnt want to take a chance with my freedom ya know…she didnt say anything nice or im sorry for leaving you like that…i could have cursed her out or embarrased her but i did not i kept it cool…and was a real man…sure i was dying inside and wanted to wait for her to come out side to walk and talk but i figured she made up her mind to leave me whats the point
ya know so i zipped on with my heart still in my hands and bared her cross again….i may never see her again but atleast we had a look of closer in each others eyes…some how i feel i caut her off guard looking sloppy shopping while i was standing there all fresh ..saying nothing but loving things to her..i think it messed her up that i didnt make a big seen…since most woman love attention…
maybe just maybe i came out a winner…but im the one
baring the cross and missing her so much…i felt as though
she didnt care at all..that she moved on with her life
and ruined mine…and my heart….but why would she move around the freekin corner less than a mile from me in the bronx she could have moved to jersey or manhattan…why so close….
someone plzz respond…im goin nuts…..
what do i do if im goign off to college?
my boyfriend and i have been dating since sept junior year, and we get along perfectly. he has become by bestfriend. we’ve had our moments i guess, but we never have fought. but now it comes time to choose colleges, and he and i COULD go to the same place, but its neither of our first choices necessarily. do i go to school with him? or trust that if its meant to be, going to different colleges won’t do anything? i dont want to lose him for something stupid.
Curiousgirl, choosing a college is a very difficult thing. My boyfriend stayed at the college in our hometown, while I got a full scholarship to a private university about an hour away. It may only be an hour, but without a car, that distance seems like a world apart.
I am very unhappy with my college of choice. I don’t feel like I belong and haven’t been able to find my niche. On top of that, my workload has prevented me from getting involved in the few organizations available on campus. I think of my boyfriend and other friends back home, and realize how much I love and appreciate my family and friends now that I’m separated from them. We used to joke in high school about “getting out” of our little city, but now I just wish that I could return. I felt very pressured into the decision by my parents, because the scholarship was allowing me the opportunity to attend a nice school that they would never be able to afford otherwise. I wish now that I had never received that scholarship, no matter how prestigious it is. I’m afraid to leave, though, and risk disappointing my parents, or throwing away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, or trading this amazing scholarship for student loans to attend a larger university of less quality. I have till mid-March before I have to reapply for housing for my sophomore year here. I must make my decision before then.
And then on top of all of my schoolwork, loneliness, and just general college stress, something deep inside is telling me I must let go of my amazing boyfriend of two years. He is my best friend, and I have had deep feelings for him since my freshman year of high school. We’re two little nerds, two peas in a pod; goofy and silly, yet at times serious and contemplative. We both feel that we understand each other better than anyone else. However, an issue which has haunted our relationship from the start has once again reamerged, and I know I cannot keep brushing it off.
Both of us are Catholic, born and raised, more or less. He has an incredibly strong faith that I have always admired. And it is this faith which has caused him to consider over and over again a religious vocation. Since he was 12, he has felt called to enter the seminary. We have discussed this several times since we started dating. It is a topic I don’t like to talk about. Every time we go several months without it coming up, I begin to hope that he has changed his mind, and that he is now seeing the married life as the vocation for him. Yet it never fails that I will need to know his true feelings, will ask about it, and be crushed when I discover he still feels obligated to at least give this possible future a try. It is this issue which has kept me from sharing my dreams of a future together with him. There are so many experiences I want to share with him, and him alone. I want him to be happy, though, and experience what God has planned for him. I truly want to see him make a difference, and it is because I know he would make such an amazing priest, that I am the most torn in letting him go. Because of this I know that when I let him go, he won’t be coming back.
We plan on talking about this later tonight. I don’t know what to say, and I selfishly fear losing him, especially at a time in my life where nothing seems to be going right and I am incredibly alone at college. I have relied heavily on him this past semester and a half, and he has bravely and selflessly borne the burden and stress of my depression and insecurities. I feel that I would comepletely fall apart without him in my life at this moment. I know he deserves better, and while I feel that if I were to transfer home, the added stress would disappear, I know there is no holding back the inevitable. We both know, and he has made it clear at least twice, that there will come a time when he leaves me to enter the seminary. Entering the seminary is still a few years away, but there is no doubt that he plans on entering. He loves me very much, but he just loves God more. I cannot fault him for that, and I want very much for him to follow what God has planned for him. I just wish that plan included me, also. The hardest part is knowing that we are not breaking up because he is leaving me for another girl, or because he is no longer attracted to me, or because we couldn’t work things out; he will leave while we will both still have these same feelings of love towards each other, and these feeling will continue to exist. I have no idea how I can turn off feelings that I’ve had for nearly five years. In that time I have never been drawn to anyone else, and during my time in college, I have not met one guy who could possibly measure up to him.
But I know he will leave me to seek his vocation, whether next week, or next year. And because I love him, I feel pressured to let him go. He will not return, and the tears and pain will be unbearable. I don’t think I can ever stop loving him.
I just recently called off a 5 1/2 year relationship with my boyfriend. The first couple of years dating I felt he loved me alot. After that, we started to fight over petty things. There had been a few times when we broke up over some things that we could have easily prevented and yet, we always managed to reconcile. Just a few months ago I asked him if he thought I was beautiful and attractive. He didn’t answer. That alone told me alot. Needless to say, I was hurt. I then asked him if he really loved me. He stayed silent for a moment then came out with “I still have feelings for you.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told him if he didn’t love me anymore then why bother staying with me. Then he turned around and told me he wanted to stay with me, that he still cared and felt bad for me. The pain seared through me like nothing I had ever felt in my life. He denied that there was someone else and for some reason I believed him. I let him go and from that point on we’ve been keeping our distance.
I’m 31 and he’s 26. Though I was in a 6 year relationship with someone else before him, I was his first. I know that many guys at his age want to ‘explore’ what’s out there for them, especially when they’ve never had prior relationships. I do not blame him for wanting to be out on his own and despite of how painful it is to let him go, I felt I had no other option. I cannot accept pity love.
Before he left he asked if we could still be friends and if we could chat once in a while. I told him it’s best that we didn’t and that he should find someone whom he will truly love. I wished him the best of luck and just like that he was out of my life. I have been crying every single day. It gets worse at night when I start to sob at the very thought of him. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t think straight. I’ve been losing a tremendous amount of weight. I know it all sounds so dramatic and cliche but this is what I’m really going through.
Once in a while he texts me asking if I’m okay. I give him a yes answer everytime. I can’t let him know that I’m all broken inside and out. I find it so hard to even get up in the morning to do any thing. I lock myself in my room all day long just lying in bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking. It kills me knowing that the promises we made to each other will not be fulfilled and our plans to have a happy family will not happen. How can I even begin to pick myself up when my entire world was built around him, and all the sudden it crumbles into a million pieces. I desperately want to forget. If only I could just forget.
People always tell me to be strong and that ‘time heals all wounds’. I don’t doubt it. The question is, when will time be on my side? How much more of this can I endure? Right now I just find myself lost, hopeless and dying.
HI! Lovehurts,
I have been in your situation and i know exactly what it is…………………..first let me congratulate you for something you did -thats leting the guy go………………..i know it was difficult and deep down you didnt want him to leave,but nevertheless,you did that.I say, thats a great move.!!!!You have shown tremendous amount of maturity.
Now coming back to the way you have been feeling about the whole thing not working out,its natural to feel this way.Grief and hurt is normal.So,dont think that why its happening with you.
The only word of caution is taking it to extreme.Do you think this is what you man wanted for you?And you are just reversing the beauty of the very act you did by letting him go.You are holding on to the time that has gone by……………………Well, i can say this because i have been in that situation and have been thru hell,lost tremendous amount of weight and so forth.But,believe me that does not help at all.You only start looking more pathetic and unattractive.Would you like you guy to see you in this state if by chance he happens to drop by to meet you?
If you have let go in real then please dont reverse it by clinging on to the past.Get up! and move ahead in life,be happy for him and for the time you both spent together……………………take care!!!
Hello Nitu,
Thank you very much for responding to my post. You are right in all that you say. I know I should not cling on to the past and I’m trying not to. It is very difficult to move on with my life. I want it very much to be able to move forward, however, I simply cannot do it. I’ve tried going out a few times, socialing with people and doing things with friends just to forget him.
I think part of the problem is that I believe deep down he still loves me. He may not want to admit it but I can feel that he does. Now I know what you’re thinking–I must be crazy for believing it and that I’m in denial. But, I must tell you being in denial is so much easier than facing reality. I gotta say, I was really amazed at myself for finding the strength end it. And yet, I’m very disappointed at myself for throwing my pride out the window by believing he is still in love with me and he’ll come back.
I wish that I was strong like some people who could just walk away from a long-term relationship without ever looking back. Perhaps it’s because I always thought he would be the one I’d grow old with. He never gave me a reason to believe otherwise up until our last conversation, which ultimately ended it all. It’s been 4 months now and I’m still in shock, believe it or not.
I think the only way that could force me to move on with my life is knowing he’s happy with someone else. I know I’ll be hurt, but at the same time, I’ll be happy for him. At least then I’ll know there is nothing left. This is the only way. Thanks for listening.
Hi! lovehurts,
I firmly believe that you are a much stronger person than you think you are.The fact that you want your guy to be happy in life with or without you, speaks volumes about the love you have for him,this in itself is great.Not many of us are capable of such magnaimous hearts…………..
You are on the right track and its only a matter of time before you would be able to go with your life happily.
I know how it hurts when things dont work out the way we have planned.But when that happens,it only means that theres something even better for us in store and that will come to us with time.The universe will give us what is the right thing.We need to have faith and patience for things to happen.
I do not agree with the “denial is better than facing the facts of life” which you have mentioned.The sooner you accept the reality the easier it will be for you to go through this phase.
You are very strong and will definetly make through this.so,hang on and let things happen.The lesser you try to control them the lesser they will trouble you.
Yes,he still loves you and will be hurt to know that you are not happy without him.Be positive and who knows he might come back and things will work out the way you had intended them to be……………
Take care!!!
Just giving another update on me and my ex (friend). He and I know that we will be best friends first forever no matter what and I will never love anyone like the way I love him and vice versa. We wanted to see where we would go but his fear of hurting me again keeps us apart. So, I decided not to push him and let it be, plus he also seems to really care for his girlfriend, at least that is what he presents to the world. So with knowing that, without telling him, I took a step back and stopped communicating with him as we were everyday. I know if he and I keep talking everyday like we are, we will end up back where we alway do, wanting and needing each other again. After not seeing each other for about 2 months and talking everyday, we found ourselves inlove all over again and wanting each other.
The interesting thing is now, now that I let him go, the guy I have been talking to for almost a year now, our relationship has made a huge change and jump. Its scary but its good. Its like we are meeting each other for the first time and are really feeling one another. We have agreed to stop having sex, which has been well over a month now, so that we can concentrate on each other, getting to know each other better, and to focus more on our personal, financial and spiritual lives. It doesn’t mean that my love for my ex is gone, its just that sometimes in order to live and move on, you have to let something go that you are holding on to, no matter how much it may hurt or how hard it may be. I am living testimony so far to show that there is life after a great love, just keep living and keep your heart open for possibilities and let love flow in, you never know where it may come from, sometimes from the most unlikeliest of places.
I have this best friend whom I’ve really fallen in love with. There was a time when we would exchange i love you’s and i know that he loves me too. The only problem is that, he isnt ready for a relationship. My mind tells me to let him go completely for my sake… Lately, he isnt as expressive as he used to. He doesn’t say I love you anymore. When we’re together, we seem to be the happiest couple.. There isnt a day that we wouldnt text each other.. This has been going on for six months. Friends do tell me that I am very attractive and I deserve another man who would love me the same way that I would… Should I really let him go??????
Last night I done the hardest thing I will EVER do in my life. That was to walk away from the man I love with all my heart! He was hurting because of me, he was torn between religion and love. He didn’t want to hurt me, so I made it easier for him. I walked away. I had prayed to God for many days asking him to give me an answer and this exact quote was the answer I got from him. “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” Thank you for sharing you uncondition love story with the world. It is consoling to know that everyone hurts so bad sometimes and I am not the only one in the world who is crying out and hurting soo bad.
I was with this girl for two and a half years then for the last month of our relationship we argued alot and it caused our relationship to struggle. We are currently on a “Break” but i don’t know what this could mean cuz she posts blogs on her page about i want to let “him” know how much i love him and i hope “he” reads these poems i wrote. I don’t know if she is talking about me or if she is talking about somebody else. We have been on a break before but this one seems alot different, we have been apart for a month and a half now and i am lost without her. I told her i would change before and i would stop the rude comments and would change the way i talk to her but i never could and thats why we are here now. I just really don’t know what to do. What should i do?
My gf has just broke up with me on 20 March 2009. We have been together for 4 years and 4 months. The reason she left me was because she cannot accept herself as a lesbian. I feel terribly hurt, cos we have made plans to migrate to Australia. I was willing to leave my family and my job to be with her in Australia. Now, i am lost. we have so much dreams and plans. We have even spoken about how our future will be like. But now, all my dreams are shattered. I have told her that i will wait for her. But she said dun bother, cos she will not come back to me. I do not know if her purpose in saying this is to make me give her up totally. I know that she still loves me. But yet, it is this gender that is a issue. My friends are telling me that someone who is subject to the views of others are not worthy of my love. cos their happiness comes from the recognition of others. I have put in a lot of efforts in this relationship, and i truly place her as my top priority. above myself. only to find the outcome something so disappointing.
My gf started to think about us after I left her house shortly after I reached her house. The reason why i left is cos she was venting her frustrations at me, and i was not in a good mood that day. Since that day, she was wondering why is she venting her frustrations on me so often. She attributed it to the nature of the relationship. Something that she is not able to accept. But how i look at it is that its just her character. She has always been hot tempered. And i guess when i asked if she did try hard enuf or not to try to accept us. She said what makes me think that she did not try. I guess she was tired of it, and have decided to give up. On the day when she initiated the breakup, she cried terribly. even though she said that she has no more feelings for me. But i can sense that she is suppressing her feelings. I do not want to think that the whole reason behind this breakup is due to the fact that she feels bad to be venting her frustrations at me. Therefore, she has decided to breakup with me. My friends are saying that i am thinking too much. But i do not think the gal whom i have been with for 4 years plus has changed so drastically overnight. and I do not think she was plastic when she was with me. Can someone advise if I shld continue to pursue her? Or shld i let her go? It has been almost 3 weeks. but the pain is too much for me to bear…. Must i really let her go?
Dear Friends,
I came to this site in search of the above quote, to share with my daughter. As an old Mom, I just want to share some of the same advice that I share with her. Love is best found when you are happy/strong within yourself and life alone. First,reach out and help/love others that are suffering(they need your love right now), whether that is volunteering at the local soup kitchen or with a learning to read program at your local school. This is the spiritual component, that you may be missing/looking for now. Then read good books that will further your mind and education(this will put you in touch with all that this fascinating world is about). Finally, exercise that will strengthen your body(and believe it or not chemically it releases “happy” endorphins).
We are complex people (spirit,mind, and body)…when you have these 3 areas in your own life in balance, you will be surprised how many people will come along side you and how many friends you have…and you will have a better chance of finding that special person, because you are unique and special and strong in yourself.
Trying to hold onto someone who has changed or change yourself into something they want will never make a good, strong, lasting relationship. Go forward, don’t remember past hurts (it’s harmful to you), love life and do good. To be good is to be happy. God bless you all on your journey.
I was with my bf for 8 years. He cheated on me, I found out late last year. We tried to reconcile but i still had lots of questions that drove me crazy. Mainly, he didn’t admit that they slept together. I broke up with him two weeks ago… and two days after I broke up with him, he finally confessed that he had been lying and did sleep with her. During the reconciliation I was getting everything I ever dreamed of – he made me breakfast, he packed my lunch, he told me he loved me all day, he told me he wanted to marry me…. but something didn’t feel right. I decided to leave him anyway after 7 months of trying to patch things up. During those 7 months, I made him cry almost everyday because I was so angry at what happened to us and I was begging him to tell me the truth. I needed to get my sanity back but now, I am completely emotionally destroyed at the thought that he did let me let go. He let me walk away and now I don’t know if he’ll ever come back to me again. And I am confused as someone who decided to end it. :( But I’m not going back and I’ve realized that I’ve done all the chasing all these years. I need to accept that he might not come back to me but this separation is worth the effort of at least getting myself out of an unhealthy situation.
My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me for the second time on Sunday. When we started dating, he was my angel. He was the most wonderful guy I had ever met. I really believed fairy tales came true back then all because of him. That lasted about 3 years then all of a sudden he changed. He wanted to start going out with friends and didnt make any time for me. He would talk to me very hatefully and would practically ignore me when I was around him and pay attention to everyone else. I love this man so much and I feel like my dream of life has been shattered. He came back the first time but that was because I tried so hard. This time, Im hurt so badly, I dont even feel like trying. Ive proven my love for him and he threw me away like a used napkin. I ask God every day what happened to my angel and why did he give me a heart so big if it was only going to be broken…. maybe one day I will get my answers.
well…this story has touch my heart….i am too, in love with someone but im trying my best to let him go…ive never been with him, thats 4 sure…but i will never 4get the emotional dramas im going thru bcos of him…sadly i just felt i couldnt love someone else like i loved him…i cried a lot but this beautiful feeling does make me stronger and brings out the best in me…well, letting go is the best way and im doing it now…but somehow if things does change for us, i know i would never let it past by me just like that…its been nearly 5 years now…god, i love him…just wish he could be with someone whos far more better than me…im seeing the brighter side of life now n im really thankful…thanks 4 the story too…
I have been with my fiance for over 4 years and up until a few months ago he was who I wanted in my life by my side forever. He proposed at the beginning of April and suddenly a little voice in my brain showed up asking if I truly wanted to be with him. At first I ignored the voice but every day it got louder and louder. I thought that maybe I was worried he didn’t love me, he had recently found out that last year in November I came very close to cheating on him but in the end I chose my relationship with him over this other guy. I know, the fact that I was able to think about cheating was probably a warning sign but at the time I didn’t see it that way. When I finally told him he was extremely upset, I thought we would end up breaking things off but he managed to forgive me and I was glad because I was convinced I loved him and that this is what I wanted. Then he proposed and now I can’t stop thinking about breaking up with him, I don’t want to think about it and some days I don’t think about it. I feel torn in two, part of me looks at all the things we’ve done and all the memories we’ve shared and I think aren’t those worth fighting for? 4 years is a very long time to be with someone and to me I feel like I am mocking our time together. I have spoken to several friends and I’ve also spoken to my fiance, he knows I am having doubts and we even broke up briefly for a few hours. Knowing the pain I was causing him I told him I’d try to work on us. Since then I have done everything I can think of, and one positive is that my faith in God has grown. I don’t know where these feelings came from, I can only think that they were inside me all along and they didn’t surface until I realized that I was going to be making a life long commitment to this man. He asked me, what have I done? What is the cause of these feelings? I don’t have a straight answer, all I know is something in me is trying to tell me I am making the wrong choice. We are together still and I try my best to think of each day as a gift, and I try not to think about the future. We spend time together and we do normal things and I have fun and he has fun, but always there is a part of me that feels I am doing the wrong thing by letting him think I am ok. I told him I would discuss my feelings and doubts with him whenever I felt them, but it’s hard to imagine spending a day with him hanging out and having a good time and then trying to explain that even though we got along great and that I did have fun there is still doubt in my mind. It’s been about a week since we have had a discussion and since then I’ve felt doubt but I haven’t told him, I can see how he thinks we are on the mend and I don’t have the heart or guts to tell him I don’t feel the same way. It isn’t that I don’t care for him, I do. I want the best for him and I’ve always encouraged him to do more and to be more. He is a great person, he can make me laugh and we enjoy ourselves, I just don’t know why I feel the way I do. I have prayed and prayed to God to show me what I should do and the path I should take. I want to think if he let me go I’d go back, that I will realize that he is the man for me. I’m terrified that I will realize he isn’t and that I must now find someone else and so will he. I am confused and I wanted to ask all of you who post to tell me if I am being cruel. Is it wrong for me to try and make things work? Should I break his heart and be done with it? I am looking for answers and advice.
Most of the people who have posted on this site have had their hearts broken, I would be doing that same thing to someone else. What I’d like to know is if you could have stayed with your significant other knowing that eventually there would be the same outcome where you separate, would you have wanted the break up right away? Or would you have wanted more time with that person? I know, that’s an incredibly selfish question on my part to ask but I’m asking anyway. Thanks in advance on my part for taking the time to respond, and I hope no one thinks too ill of me for what I am doing.
Jasmin, I guess you have to decide if you are ready to settle down or not. There is no problem with your partner. The problem seems to lie more on you. Your willingness to commit and settle down with him. And also, if you are determined to work things out, nothing can break the 2 of u up. I can understand how your partner will feel if you leave him. The more you try to suppress your feelings, the more you will react strongly to it. I will say that it will be good to take a break, and think about what kind of person you wish to settle down with, and if your partner fits the bill… Do not mislead your partner. Of course, to the one who has given so much, i guess being nice is not everything. I was also once very nice to my ex. But she left me nonetheless. And i am still trying to get her back…. I hope that my sincerity will move her, and she will come back to me…. Cos she really means the world to me….
Its been over a year since my love ran from me. I was away on vacation for only a few days and when I came back she was pretty much gone. We were together for a year and a half. We spent everyday together. She told me she just needed some space which basically meant there was someone else in the picture. I knew that in my gut but truly did not want to believe it. My friends and family have told me just to let go and move on but its so hard to let go. I have made the mistake of answering her phone calls, sleeping with her and at some points almost begging her to come back. She says that she loves me and wants to marry me but I know actions speak louder then words. I do want her back so bad and hope that I will be able to regain my trust for her. She is about six years younger then me so she still is a little immature. Hopefully she will change her ways. I know that I have to let go if she comes back to me then I know it was meant to be.
I had a keychain and it was shaped as a foot, and had the whole speech u read on it i really feel that speech or poem
its been six monthes now and ive really realized what the problem is and always will be…..believe me ive thought this one out…the problem is
all woman are whores”
I have been with my fiance for over 4 years and up until a few months ago he was who I wanted in my life by my side forever. He proposed at the beginning of April and suddenly a little voice in my brain showed up asking if I truly wanted to be with him. At first I ignored the voice but every day it got louder and louder. I thought that maybe I was worried he didn’t love me, he had recently found out that last year in November I came very close to cheating on him but in the end I chose my relationship with him over this other guy. I know, the fact that I was able to think about cheating was probably a warning sign but at the time I didn’t see it that way. When I finally told him he was extremely upset, I thought we would end up breaking things off but he managed to forgive me and I was glad because I was convinced I loved him and that this is what I wanted. Then he proposed and now I can’t stop thinking about breaking up with him, I don’t want to think about it and some days I don’t think about it. I feel torn in two, part of me looks at all the things we’ve done and all the memories we’ve shared and I think aren’t those worth fighting for? 4 years is a very long time to be with someone and to me I feel like I am mocking our time together. I have spoken to several friends and I’ve also spoken to my fiance, he knows I am having doubts and we even broke up briefly for a few hours. Knowing the pain I was causing him I told him I’d try to work on us. Since then I have done everything I can think of, and one positive is that my faith in God has grown. I don’t know where these feelings came from, I can only think that they were inside me all along and they didn’t surface until I realized that I was going to be making a life long commitment to this man. He asked me, what have I done? What is the cause of these feelings? I don’t have a straight answer, all I know is something in me is trying to tell me I am making the wrong choice. We are together still and I try my best to think of each day as a gift, and I try not to think about the future. We spend time together and we do normal things and I have fun and he has fun, but always there is a part of me that feels I am doing the wrong thing by letting him think I am ok. I told him I would discuss my feelings and doubts with him whenever I felt them, but it’s hard to imagine spending a day with him hanging out and having a good time and then trying to explain that even though we got along great and that I did have fun there is still doubt in my mind. It’s been about a week since we have had a discussion and since then I’ve felt doubt but I haven’t told him, I can see how he thinks we are on the mend and I don’t have the heart or guts to tell him I don’t feel the same way. It isn’t that I don’t care for him, I do. I want the best for him and I’ve always encouraged him to do more and to be more. He is a great person, he can make me laugh and we enjoy ourselves, I just don’t know why I feel the way I do. I have prayed and prayed to God to show me what I should do and the path I should take. I want to think if he let me go I’d go back, that I will realize that he is the man for me. I’m terrified that I will realize he isn’t and that I must now find someone else and so will he. I am confused and I wanted to ask all of you who post to tell me if I am being cruel. Is it wrong for me to try and make things work? Should I break his heart and be done with it? I am looking for answers and advice.
Most of the people who have posted on this site have had their hearts broken, I would be doing that same thing to someone else. What I’d like to know is if you could have stayed with your significant other knowing that eventually there would be the same outcome where you separate, would you have wanted the break up right away? Or would you have wanted more time with that person? I know, that’s an incredibly selfish question on my part to ask but I’m asking anyway. Thanks in advance on my part for taking the time to respond, and I hope no one thinks too ill of me for what I am doing.
maybe you need to know her or him to let them go to the movie
Yesterday, my boyfriend and I mutually agreed to break up our relationship of one and a half years. We both are still in love with each other very much, but knew that eventually the differences between us could turn into resentment and hate.
Due to his past and childhood, he is a person who lacks intimacy and affection, whereas I am a loving person who needs it. For the first year, when things were newer, he was able to show his love and affection. Things started to change after where he was more comfortable in the relationshp and things started going downhill. It got to a point where I felt more like a close friend than a lover. It got to a point where I got jealous of his female friends because I felt that there was no difference between them and I. It caused arguments between us. I knew he would not cheat on me and that I could trust him…even though he would tell me this, my jealously feelings just could not stop. Eventually, he started asking for more space and then it ended up with him taking a two week break.
During this break, I realised that we were not right for each other. He was not willing to change or try to become more affectionate or physical. He had this issue with past relationships as well. I did not want to give up my loving nature. We had many good times in the past together, but came to realise that I could not spend the next fifty years together like this. We are going to try and remain friends and I have a feeling he will be in my life forever. We share a close emotional bond with each other that is so strong.
What hurts is that there is so much love there, but knowing that you have to let your love go in hopes of finding something more. It scares me that we both have let our love go and not knowing what the future will bring. I hope that he will be able to get help to deal with his lack of intimacy issues, but what I have learned is that you cannot change someone else…you can only change yourself. I am hoping that setting this love free will bring him back a whole person to me. If not, then I hope that each of us will find the type of love that we both deserve.
I can completely relate to Tiba, except I wish we had been smart enough to let go on our own. I meet a guy that I never expected to even talk to. Our friendship was instantaneous and deep. However we ended up hurting the two people we were with because neither of us was strong enough to walk away. The thing that sucks is that now we no longer even speak…it’s difficult to lose someone who is not only your best friend but that you also loved without even knowing it. Reading all of your stories has been amazing. I can relate to them and they have given me the courage to let go. I know that whatever is meant to happen will happen…I have finally come to terms with the fact that I can’t control anything in this situation but myself…But I will always love J.E.S.
“A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means so much to you,
only find out in the end and that you were never meant to be and you have to let go.”
I’m right there with you Panda… Him and I separated yesterday… after one and a half years of going back and forth, not being able to let go of each other, but always knowing that there will be an end because of the 12 years difference between us. I have the same question – what about this immense love that I feel for him? What do I do with it? How do I free myself from it, and do I? Should I? I know I have to let him go and it’s going to be difficult to cut all contact, I know if he will call me – and he will eventually to see if I’m ok – I will want to hold on to him agaun. I have to be very disciplined… it is his wish to go and be just friends… But I’m choking in pain, and drowning in love and it seems unbearable at times… I know I just have to give it some time… that time will heal somewhat, but there is such a war inside of me… I don’t know if he will come back to me, I know he loves me but he just can’t live with the thought of having a 12 years older woman and I don’t blame him… I hope God will help me to let go of this love for him, and find peace…
Mayah, my heart goes out to you. I start to wonder why is it that people say that “Love has no boundaries”. When in actual fact, most of the time no matter whom we have found, it is always subjective to age, gender, money, etc….. What exactly is the true meaning of love? I believe that love is simple. Why do some humans have to make it seem so complicated? How often can we find that someone whom we get along so well, and perhaps even decided to spend the rest of our lives with them. Only to find that they begin to feel that there are certain criteria in order for one to be their life-time partner.
So, when they have eventually found that someone and get married with kids. Only to find that they want to divorce in the end. Cos they realise that the one whom they have married have changed over time, and that they no longer love that someone…. What exactly is love?
For me, my gf broke up with me. Reason cos after 4 years of being together, she realised that she cannot accept herself as a lesbian. She told me that for the first time in her life, someone has love and care for her so sincerely. But frankly speaking, if this is the case, I do not understand why did she want to break up with me….. It still hurts me to this date….. I know that I will never forget this wonderful gal in my life…. and i still hope that she will come back to my side…. She is still refusing to meet me. and I want to know if she is doing fine. Even though she was the one who broke up with me, i still care and feel so much for her….. I hope she is doing well…. if i am not the best for her, i hope that she will find the best for her one of these days….
thank you for this site :) I just broke up with my boyfriend…had been a long distance thing since he went back home, i let him go….thank you all for inspiring me :) I hope we all find love again.
Its been two months today since my girlfriend and best friend for three years left me.She told me it was because I wasn’t affectionate enough. She left the house we had lived in together and went to stay with her mother. Then two weeks after she left I found emails from another guy. When I asked her about him she admitted having feelings for him.
She always swore that she would never cheat on me. I moved out of the house when she was away visiting him. Now she’s quiting her job, selling the house, and moving to Florida to go to school. The other guy also lives in Florida.
What she is doing is the complete opposite of the girl I know. She’s leaving everything we had. We had a future of marriage and children and we were always so happy. We were both going through some stressfull times lately, so maybe she just panicked.
Her father sent me this saying in an email. He told me it seems like she is running away, and you just have to let her go through it.
I know we were meant to be together, we shared everything in our lives and did everything together. It’s really hard letting her go.
Initially I tried to do whatever I could to get her back. Know I’m trying my best not to have any contact. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to go through this. I never wish this kind of pain on anybody.
I can’t think of my life without her in it. I can’t stop thinking of her, I even dream of her.
How do I let go when I know in my heart she is making the wrong choices, and we were meant for each other?
Adam,
I’m so sorry for what happened to you and I really feel for you. I wish your pain will ease soon, and I know it will. I understand letting go is extremely difficult, and at the beginning it seems impossible. It’s been a couple of weeks for me even though I knew it for a long time, that he will break up one day because he wasn’t completely happy, no matter how I gave myself 100% and more.
What I’ve learned is that what you feel is only your persective and not the reality and it is really hard to see the reality because when we are in love, everything is subjective, filtered through our emotions. Thus if we think they are the right person for us, we assume it’s the absolute truth and that our partner feels the same way. But that is not necessarily true. If they felt the same way, they would not be gone. It took me quite some time to wrap my mind around this thought. That just because I feel fantastic, deeply in love, because it feels 100% right for me, it might not be the same for him. Emotionally I still don’t beleive it, but rationally I am starting to get it… We always got along fantastically, never argued, it was perfect… Yet he doesnt want to be with me forever… How is it possible?
It’s a painful journey and it’s not over for me. But I realized that no matter how painful it is, I must accept the reality and not fight it. I can’t control how he feels, and if I love him, I have to accept and support his choices. If he realizes that I was the one, he will come back to me anyways. If not, then I was wrong thinking he is the ONE. For I believe that if he was the ONE for me, I’d have to be the ONE for him, and we would both know it and feel it. I think that is how the Universe operates, it must be two-sided…
Right now it feels that a life without him is not worth living, and every day is a struggle, in fact every hour, every minute… But the more I try to shift my focus away from him, the easier it gets. I try to shut down the thoughts that almost compulsively circle around him. Day and night, I am playing the same tape over and over again: and that is him. I am not interested in another tape. Looking at anything else in life, even though I know deep in the back of my mind that there is a lot of wonderful things to experience in life outside of him. But HE became a habit for me. An addiction. I realized that maybe one of the reasons he left me because I made him the sole source of my happiness. I realized that I must be able to be happy on my own, in order to draw him closer, and remove the burden of responsibility from him. So I’m at the beginning of the road, I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but deep in my heart I know it’s there. And I know that whether he is there at the end of the tunnel or not, it’s not my choice. It’s God’s choice.
I’ve been praying to God to bring him back to me, and he did. He did come back – as friends only, and for now, that’s good enough. There is a passage in the bible saying:
“They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.” 1 John 2:19
I found a different twist to it, that I really like: “What God meant for you to have, he’ll give it to you.” I keep saying that to myself, and I trust that…
(I’m not a particularly religious person but I found that in dark times praying, having faith and trust is really helpful). If he loves me, or he realizes the value of our relationship, he will come back. If he doesn’t, then he never loved me the same way and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it other than accept it…
So what can I say? For now, just take a deep breath and try to keep your head high, no matter how you feel. If you can manage these small things, it will help balance the brain chemicals in you that make you feel like it’s the end of the world. People can endure a lot… My God, how much… We don’t know until the storm passes… My mom would say, baby girl, this is your test. How the rest of your life is going to be depends a lot on how you go through this… So it hurts, but today I kept my head held high (it’s sooo hard) but I’m a bit more calm. I still love him to death and I can’t give up hope yet, that he will be back one day and we will be happy together. This hope keeps me going. So I will keep loving him, until it wears out, until the clouds pass and until I can see a bit of the Sun again.
Two more resources for the heartbroken: http://www.thelovelogic.com. A forum where you can share your experience just like here and you will get a lot of feedback from people who have gone through the same pain…
Another one is http://www.emotionsanonymous.org/ that I found extremely helpful in teaching me how to let go of my painful emotions and control them. You have to read the 12 steps and go through each of them, or as many as you can…
Good luck…
Well i fall in love with one of my best friends and i thought things were working out perfectly but he loves someone else. It was so hard letting him go and even now i think of him. But i found these words i know i should let him go because he might just come back to me and because I LOVE HIM…and loving someone is wanting the best for them whether that includes you or not.
Unrequited love is very painful but I’m coming from another side of the story. I left my love 10 years ago and wanted to come back within a year but he refused. So, sometimes if you love someone or think that you love someone, once they’ve hurt you badly enough you may not want them back. As far as moving on is concerned, you cannot take something away and just leave it at that. A void must be filled. To those who are having a difficult time disconnecting might I suggest that you bury yourself in something else, either work and/or leisure and fill that void.
Mayah,
Thanks for your response. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life, and he truth is I don’t think I will make it through it. This came as a total shock to me, and I don’t beleive that I will ever know the answeres that I need.
I love Her more than anything in the world. I think I know how you feel, but I can’t offer any advice about how to deal with it, because I can’t deal with my own situation.
I havn’t talked to her since June 19th. I know she needs her space right now, but it kills me. I don’t know how to do this.
Thanks again.
Adam,
I know its not easy to cope with not being with the one who has your heart, it is never easy. The one who has my heart has had it for over 6 years and I have never stopped loving him. I have had to deal with gaps in between these 6 years, gaps such as a few months to even 2 years. Watch him go through different relationships and getting married to a woman he found out he had a child by almost 1 year before he and I met and fell in love. This time I around I watched him be with a woman of whom I knew he didn’t love for over a year and now he is no longer with her and he is filing for his divorce from his wife.
I believe in my heart that he is the one for me, but I also know that at times I had doubt that I shouldn’t have had, but its so hard to hold onto faith when you are watching this man with another woman. Now he and I are best friends but still love each other very much. I finally had to put my foot down and lay everything out on the table about how these past years have been for me and what I can and cannot tolerate or deal with anymore.
He now lives in NY and I have visited him twice and he is coming down to MD this weekend to take care of business, see his children, spend time with me and my children for his birthday and chill wit friends. I love this man with all my heart can contain. Its not easy Adam to let go of the one you love but if it is ever meant to be, you have to endure this time, find something else that will occupy your thoughts, find a hobby, get into sports or something but sitting around all day thinking of her and missing her every moment of the day is what will kill you emotionally. Pray on it if you believe in prayer and just keep going. Don’t bother her too much, let her be. To be honest, if she really loves you, she will contact you. Just be patient. Call once in awhile just to say hello and how you doing, leave the conversation short and then move on. I will be praying for you, keep your head up.
Tiba
Awww…Love is the greatest feeling in the world and when things take a turn it can make you feel emptier then you ever thought possible. I took a chance on love again at the insistence of a young woman who for whatever reason was enamored by me. For 4 months I insisted that I was single and that I wanted nothing more that what we shared a few times a week, a bed and good times.
As time went on I realized that like it or not I was once again in a relationship. My previous LTR had been 5 years of some of the greatest moments of my life. I have battled with addiction issues for most of my adult life and have never really made a concerted effort to address them. Fast forward to today and here I sit writing this message on a heartbreak (for lack of a better word) forum thread.
From January to the end of May we danced, drank and smoked our way into bliss. I introduced her to most of my family and really began to see myself possibly having more then just a dating relationship with this beautiful young woman. After sustaining a fairly serious leg beak are relationship hit the skids and for the last 3 months I’ve been unable to walk without the aid of crutches. Anyhow, our relationship began to not be so much fun. True to form I started to abuse the pain medication I was taking and developed a dependency on them which really wore terribly on both of us. Initially I made some half-hearted efforts to stop and of course promised the world to my young missus only to not follow through on my words. It has brought us to the point of breaking up not once but twice without ever having gotten back together.
Over the course of the year that I have been dating her I have made a seriously bad impression on her family and most of her friends which puts me in a very bad position in regards to possibly reconciling. I have once again grabbed the reins of my life and for the past 3 weeks have abstained from all mood altering substances. I have been attending some 12 step meetings as well as weekly counseling sessions with a licensed therapist. She moved back home and after the first day back with the folks chatted with me online concerning all the doubts and problems we have been going through as a couple, the end result of the conversation was she needed space and time to see how she really feels about the matter. She has said that she has missed me quite a bit and that she is relieved to not have to deal with so much drama. Last week I brought her some flowers to her work and then later that evening called her up to talk a bit. She was a bit brief and I realized she was practically asleep as it was kind of late. I spoke to her about wanting to get together for dinner and a romantic evening when I returned from a family reunion. She said she would be open to that and to call her when I got back to make arrangements. A few of my friends said I should not pressure her and that I should just give her space to figure out how she feels…I have been missing her quite a bit and yet I am somewhat reluctant to call her, instead I am hoping she will call me. This way I can be certain that she is truly missing me and that some of the feelings she has held for me are still alive. I have been doing plenty of soul searching and I am hoping to salvage this relationship. We have had some good times and I believe we are on similar, congruent paths in life and that we might be able to have something truly beautiful together ( ie, a family and kids ) if I just stay focused and on the right path. I love her and will lay down tonight saying my prayers for her and for us. Any feedback would be most welcome ? Thank you in advance for any efforts =)
i dunno how you feel..but you’d be fine afterwards…if the sun doesn’t come the next day..then, guess what? it’s the end of the world..and i think, we’re not that even close to that thought..you’ll be fine..
My husband left me 3 days ago. He said there was no chance that he was coming back. I kind of knew it was coming, but I just was not prepared for it. I still love him and it has been very hard on me. It hurts worse because I hurt him so much and didn’t realize it. I know it has only been 3 days but it already feels like an eternity since then. I hope he realizes what he has lost and comes back. If he doesn’t come back then I guess I will be okay, but given that it just happened it is hard to see the silver lining no matter the outcome. Waiting for the future is torture, especially if you have two kids.
I amin an opposite i am deeply in love with someone who has no respect ,patience iand i think love for me, we have been together for 7 years i NEED ro let him go. HELP!!!!!!!
All of you have helped me through another night. I have progressed alot but I have my moments and this blog is so comforting and full of inspriration and courageous believers!!! I will share my story another time but just wanted to say THANK YOU.
I fell in love with my best friend. We had known each other for 5 years — it was the kind of complete and utter love I’ve never felt before. I gave him my whole heart with no reservations – I’ve never done that before, but for some reason I just knew he was the one — the one that I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. Everything was perfect, we complimented each other perfectly, we were so happy together. He kept telling me that he thanked God every night for bringing me into his life.
Then, one day he met an old college friend. Without warning, he slowly started pulling away from me — we used to talk for hours every day, we used to share everything — and before I knew it, he was telling me that he had fallen in love with her. He said he still wanted to remain friends, like we used to be. But it wasn’t like it used to be — I tried my best to remain friends — as much as it hurt, he was still in my life. So I grieved by myself, never letting him know that it was killing me to hear how happy he was with her. And then, he slowly stopped talking to me, stopped emailing, stopped communicating.
It was a pain like I had never felt before — I can’t even find the words to describe how it felt.
That was 8 months ago — he still emails and calls me once in a while. He’s talking about getting married next year. A small part of me is actually happy that he is happy — but it still hurts — I am still in love with him — and a part of me I still believes that he and I will someday be together again.
I know he has moved on — that he cares about me, but not like he used to — but I can’t seem to let him go — he is still the first person I want to tell when something good or something bad happens.
Not only have I lost the love of my life, but I lost my best friend — how can you let that go completely?
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. I’ve realized I’ve become selfish though…he loves me so much…and I still love him, but I don’t think in the same way anymore. I can’t bare to lose him, or to hurt him. I just feel stuck.
Somebody once said something along the lines of: “When she left she became a free woman, but I will never again be a free man.” For me this is true and so I am sorry to say I disagree with some comments here.
The girl I love was never even my girlfriend but she was a very very close friend. Then one day she suddenly didn’t like me anymore. This was a long time ago. I have carried a photo of her in my wallet everyday since – it is my most treasured possession. I also have written many poems about her on my blog.
My Fiance just left me after 2 years, once we talked 2gather about the wedding date , he freaked out and he said he loved his freedom more then me , I hurted so much , he was everything to me ,I cant believe that he just left me like that, I loved him so much , he told me that I cant wait for him forever , and he could not talk the desicion to mary, I feel so painful like I had never felt before .
Hello,
It’s really strange,I too gave the ”foot print” prayer to The man that I
Too had a deep loving attachment to. I loved him at first sight and still do.
he left to go back to Puerto rico where he was Born. I had a little over three
years of enjoying this wounderful mans presence.funny think is I was not angry
when he told me I fully understood.Because I feel strongly that I will see Him again. Hope your holidays are Bright. God Bless you Tina,
I just like to add that Happiness is inside you,you must not expect a person to alway’s make you happy. when someone leaves you. you can still be happy.
It’s mind over matter. ask yourself, would the person who I truly loved want me to feel unloved or unhappy without them?. keep the person alive in your heart, and carry them around wherever you go, and be at peace with yourself, and have fun,and stop dwelling on the past !and forgive yourself! God bless you,
Tina xox
U guys atleast had a gf or bf to start with( well atleast for most of u guys ). I have been after my love of my life for nearly one and half years now..
each time i get close to her, she runs away,, now far off in another country.. but by fate i did managed to meet her..
still the same thing…
i feel so empty now..
can not sleep
can not eat
i do not knw why i am feeling so…
its been months since i had a good meal or sleep…
the feeling of emptiness.. its killing me slowly..
i never gave up and accept defeat.. i am not going to start now either..
keep ur spirits up and concertate on wht u want–” the happy life with ur loved one.”
it will get u places that u never dreamed off..
@Heart With No Home– i think we are kind of sailing in same boat.. keep ur hopes high..
@B an Artist — good luck man… never give up
@Larissa– i hear u on that one.. we all have to get uses to it at one point of time…. time will heal everything..
I let go the love of my life this morning its killing me inside…..praying to GoD every hours that i hope this is the best for me and him..
we love each other so much but he needs to finish undone things…i cant live with the lies anymore…i want a normal life…he need to make up his mind….he ask me if this what i really want…i said yes…..
letting go is the only answer in my question i think about it so many times…i believe that letting someone go it doesn’t mean that u stop caring for them….letting go is selfless thing to do…first of u love them..u want to spend your whole life with them but then if u know that there is something is not right….even though how much u love them u have to let it go…..letting go means i love u….
i love u james so much…more than words can say..but i have to let you go…i don’t want to see you pressured…i want you to be happy though i’m not part of it…
goodbye for now….GoD Bless US all who have BROkEn HEarT….
Clueless… what a brave thing to do! Keep praying and I hope your pain will slowly go away and you will find your way and happiness without him.
That’s what I should do but I just can’t get myself to do it… Because he is so much younger then me, I don’t think he could be happy with me in the long term, and we discussed it several times that we have to separate. But it never happens, something comes up and it’s stretching out and I’m happy to have some more time with him, but he is is so restless, and I know he is attached to me, but he needs to go his own way, but he has a hard time to break away from me and the love I give him. And I love him so much, and I can’t imagine not having him in my life, in fact I am horrified of what is coming once he decides to leave, so I am not capable of helping him, and breaking it off myself. So we are still together after two years, but every day I know it could be the last day, and every day I know that he is not completely happy. I know the best thing to do wouold be to let him go. Give him the space he needs and if he happens to come back… it would be fantastic, but I can’t expect that, I should let him go completely… And he asked me many times to let him go, but I can’t… I feel so selfish and I hate myself for that. I shouldn’t be so attached to him, and I should be able to do it for him if that is what he needs… This sucks… I am so torn, don’t know what to do… There is only one thing left – try to pary to God to show me the way… I have gone so far from God for some time, lost faith… because I am in this situation… I feel He has left me, so I left Him…
my situation is intensely tough. I loved a girl, she was my best friend but we were long distance since the beginning. right when i realized i loved her, she went off for a semester in europe, and i to LA. We spent 4 months apart with little contact but relied on the faith of our love to be ok. Toward the end of those 4 months i felt intense fear of hurting her, since she was my best friend and got super depressed and fell into this dillusional state. Though i managed to work through it, the beginning of our relationship was rocky. We then spent another year and a half in a long distance relationship. I in philly her in boston. I was always very angry at myself for not being able to be there for her but my whole life was in philly and hers in boston. (she was still a student).
A few months ago i notice her attitude changing toward our relationship, we were fighting more and it wasn’t as fun. She is young. It’s her first relationship. She started hanging out with another guy a lot in boston and i got very scared which caused me to breach the trust in our relationship and check her text messages. I found they were writing back to eachother more than even our texts and it totally freaked me out. Our relationship took a 3 month spiral down to hell, resulting in us eventually breaking up.
She told me she loves me but can not be in a long distance relationship anymore. And said if we love each other we can work anything out. But she did not want to. And i accepted it. She said she needed a lot of space from me. Two months ago and i have not wrote or talked to her since. I miss her dearly every day i want to contact her and ask her to come back. But i know we can’t especially in the distance. It would not be like before. I am trying my hardest to let go of her. But the more my mind tells me too, my heart says wait.
I love her and feel stuck in this horrible limbo but i just have that instinct that nothing is over yet. I love her and want her to succeed so much. And am using every ounce of myself to not be selfish and contact her. Sometimes timing is everything. But i have learned so much about myself during this, without this pain i would never be able to have a healthy relationship one day, whether with her or with someone else. I pray to god to give us a second chance one day because i think we would be beautiful. But for now, i pray for him to love me and help me love myself with out her. I do believe in meant to be. So only time will tell if we belong in that special love. Any responses would be appreciate. Support is all that i can take to get through this emptiness
Those are great sentiments. Try living with a person for 30 years and finding out he doesn’t love you anymore. I’m sure you feel pain…I feel devastation..but I will certainly survive and so will you.
I am currently going through the same situation. Rather than tell the same story with a slight variation I will just recant the consensus I recieved from this page. Most people seem to think they are better for going through problem, hopefully this will be my case as well. These things all happen for a reason and if we can detach ourselves from our emotions, at least for the sake of observation,the other parties actions will become more apparent. It still sucks though but living in this world it is hard to hold on to an idealistic life, problems are never far away regardless of what you are doing. We have to take a, “take what you get.” approach, and try not to hold on to any form of entitlement, as hard as that is. We can still hope for the best and hopefully it will work out but at least if it doesnt someday it can at least make sense. People associate god with jesus and i dont think the christian influences should be associated with god. This world was most likely created but that doesnt make christianity the correct god, off topic i know but if ur gonna throw christianity into it.
i thought i found my soulmate, joy ann was the most beatiful girl i ever saw, it was not just her looks but i fell in love with her spirit, the way she laughed ,talked, ate slept, and the night she told me she loved me , i thought life could get no better, i was in heaven. then almost over nite she met another guy, and my world ended.
how could this happen , we were so happy and had so much fun spendig time together, i can still hear her laughter. i’m a grown man and i still cry like a baby over her, every sec of every min of hour , of every day i literally think of her, i get angry , sad n depressed all at the same time, it’s been 5 months now and i still hurt so much
this pain is unbearable , she calls sometime and i just don’ know what to say to her , so i loose my temper and say nasty stuff to her , and two weeks later she would call back, why cant she see how much this pain is killig me, i know i have to let go but i keep hopig she will come back to me , i’m so scared of a future without her in it , and yet , that’s what my future holds, i wish this pain would go away , it hurts so bad.
Token,
I think a long distance relationship will never work, and should not be encouraged. Human beings need physical contact and closeness, and whether a relationship is real or just a game of our imagination you can only find out after dealing with each other in person day in and day out, going through fun times and challenges together, discovering your likenessess and your differences and learning to accept each other through the worst. In my experience this usually takes roughly two years of being in a close relationship whether you live together or just meet often and do things together often – and that must include not onloy movies and fun together but the hard stuff, helping each other when things go down.
What is happening though is that your mind gets wound up around one person and it can’t let go, even though the relationship is more a imaginary one – that is a product of your thoughts rather then a result of constant dealing with each other in good and in bad. Knowing that she is so far away, you have no choice, you must let her go, give her a chance to have a real relationship, and more importantly – give YOURSELF a chance to have one. There are other people in this world, probably in your vicinity – that can sweep you away from your feet, and love you like crazy, and who can love you back like crazy and have a fantastic relationship – don’t close your own world down…
I am in a relationship with someone for two years, and even though I know we were not meant for each other cuz we are 12 years apart in age and different backgrounds, I am madly in love with him, and he takes precedence over everything and everyone in my life. We tried to separate after some reasoning that we won’t make it in the long term because of our differences, but so far we couldn’t break it off as our everyday dealings works so well. We’ve been through so much, I helped him through his knee surgery, through 3 job changes, he supports me through my horrific dealings with my ex, through a car accident, through moving to a new place and other things day in and day out, but now after two years I am starting to see that the differences between us are a realistic threat to a future together, and I am trying to control myself from thinking aout him 24/7 and understand that there IS life outside of him, and probably love, too… I know it’s hard… when someone moves into your heart, it’s painful to take that person out, but if something doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, you have to stop thinking about her. Watch yourself and see how your thoughts are constantly drawn back to her, and try to find a way to direct yourself towards something else. I believe our brain develops habits, and one of them is to keep focusing on one thing that we like, and it becomes an addiction i.e. to think about a person. I do it all the time… start thinking about him only 5 minutes after we say goodbye, and until I see him again… Sometimes I tell my mind that he doesn’t exist, just to take a break from thinking about him…
Either way, this is my 2 cents based on my experience in relationships and in being in love, madly in love…
Good luck and I hope you find peace and happiness. Our time here on Earth is short and we must make good use of every minute. (This is my mantra, it comes up every morning on my phone like an alarm, to wake me up from my pity pot…)
Peace,
Mayah
It has been a month since I spoke to my boyfriend, I cant bring myself to say ex boyfriend. In my heart it is too painful. I loved him so deeply and I do believe that he loved me the same way back. We have a difference of culture and it concerns him way more than it did for me. I have tried so hard to contact him in the last month but he has ignored me. As of last night I know there is a possibility that he wont ever return, but I still live in hope that he will. I feel I dont have a life without him, my soul is crying out in pain. I wrote a poem to him that I will share with everyone…
“I search for you in the blackness of hell. Eyes wide open and never blinking. Heart beats getting slower as time passes. I wait for you on my tired knees. Looking up I scream at the top of my lungs to god above for you to return to me! To stand me on my feet and take me to life. I wait… if I gave up I know I would fall deeper into the depths of hell. There wuld be no exit for all eternity and for what sin? For the sin of the heart…”
i just let go of somebody today. and its soooooooooo
painful.
your words help. thank you. xx
Pick up a pen and write down your feelings, it helps.
how do i forget everything about him? everything i do and go, all remind me of him and the pain starts all over again :(
shu en..
u can never forget ur loved one and so will he, the only way is to accept the pain and learn to live with it.
I read this somewhere
” Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. ”
And its true, we are always influenced by the people who come into our life and we take a small part of them along with us even after they have left us. So in a way they have never left us.
so as the time goes .. day after and night after night u will get over it.. untill then be strong..
thanks soul, for the consolation & lovely words.
i am the one who came into his life for a reason and for a season. and i am the one who let him go..
i hope the day will come soon when i am strong again.
The girl I was with, name is Diana. We were together for 3 years. I wish she will come back…
everything happens for a reason♥
your words are truly inspirational.
i am goin to try this on this boy im hoping to god he comes back but i dont now its i love him but i have to let go thanks for all the help even though im 11 its helping alot thanks so much bye
If you chase love it is gone forever, if you let it be it may come back twice as strong. I can only hope that’s true in my situation, thanks for this page.
Even if that particular love doesn’t come back, atleast I will be open to find it in another. After training myself to care for someone else for so long, it’s amazing how hard it is to care about myself again, but you gotta do this. You need to make yourself happy and not rely on someone else for happiness, that’s not what being in love is about.
Wish I’d learned all this when I first started dating, but I think that I wouldn’t of listened until I had lived it anyway.
I hope this comment, although very far down the page, helps someone out there in the same situation as me. Buck up and be strong, but most importantly, focus on yourself for a change.
Its been just over a month since I last posted on this website. He still hasnt returned :-(
My feelings for him are still as strong. When I told him I loved him with all my soul, energy and existence I wasnt lying. I remember we would say to each other that we needed a cuddle to resupply our bodies with each others energy and we would lay for hours in each others arms.
I still wake up each morning thinking… is this the morning he will return? I still live like he will return one day.
The only thing that has changed in the last month is that it is easier for me emotionally, I am not as depressed. Its still hard to deal with but there isnt anything else I can do about it.
Its been over 2 months now since I was with him… it feels like forever…
hi kerrie, i am so sorry and i truly undersand what youre feeling , my g/f left me 6 months ago and i literally prayer to god every single day that she will come back, i feel like my whole world ended when she left ,people say it gets easier . but , it hurts so much , i’ts like one sec we are the happiest people in the world , then just like that she changes , and started to go out with other guys , i think of her every sec of every min of ervery hour of every day literally, i hope we both can move on and find new love , we deserve it , but for now we also need to grieve , good luck and i hope he comes back , a little rayer can’t hurt either , it’s what i do .
I’am in such a mess right now. me and my bf broke up 3 days ago and its sucks like so much. I couldn’t go to work because of him, what if you just don’t want to let go of that person? what if you still want to be with him and want to make things work? it’s not easy!! :’(
Erika I think most people that have posted on this page still want to be with their ex, we just have no choice :-) I dont even know how to move on, I am just living… surviving…
Thanks Dave I too dont understand how someone can say they love you so deeply and then up and leave. How is that possible?
I dont think I am ready yet to find someone else. I feel the if I did I wouldnt fully give my feelings to the new person and then hurt them eventually, and I would never want someone to hurt like I have hurt. So I am just waiting for now.
A Message to All.
letting go is a difficult think to do for most. for myself I see it as a way to become closer to myself when letting go of a person. In all of lifes situations we must learn the lessons that life has in store for us, including a nessary loss of love,in this case a romantic love.
fear not ‘what does not kill you only makes you stronger’.
If we can put love into everything we do. we will be gifted in knowing that
our love is constant and so when a person leaves us we are strong enough to live without the person who has left us .Humantiy at large still has a lot to learn when it comes to loving another.
Rembering that to love another is always by trial and error,and that our creator’s love is the most improtant love of all. never give up on loving yourself,not a selfish love. where you are rude to others, that is not love. You don’t love another when you have malous in your heart. loving owerselves is by giving service to others.when we help others we are loving ourselves. Just think of this when you enter a relationship you always must rember that it could end at any time. So when the universe feels you are ready you may meet another person. no one person can fully love you,and vice versa it is a myth.
My love wants to part ways. He believes that he needs to work on himself before comitting to a relationship, but I still love him. I don’t think I can ever love like I loved him. He believes in this quote, and I was just wondering if letting go means being friends, or just completely letting go? I believe that from a friendship, we would have to learn not to love each other that way, then it would be hard. I know there’s a chance he won’t come back, but I’d rather wait for him alone than being his friend and living alone forever…
I love to hate this saying and statement, but it is true. If the shoe were on the other foot and you left them and then you love them you will return. Only time will tell. I just hate the “in between time”….
Here is a statement from a Wedding I wrote 6 years ago:
======================
Love has many meanings.
For God so loved the World, that he gave his only begotten son,
that whosoever believes on him should not perish but have everlasting life.
Love is one of the most powerful words in the WORLD.
One of the reasons is that it has so many meanings.
For EXAMPLE:
We all can have a Christ like love.
We all can and should keep a brotherly love towards humanity.
We all may or may not experience a matrimonial love.
But most of all, all of us continually experience and witness
the love God has for each and everyone of us.
This ceremony is in front of many witnesses…….
All of us can see and enjoy what God has done for them….
God is showing that these two seperate people can join in a ceremony
to show all of us how deep their love reside.
This is a special year, a special month, and a special day.
Most of all this is a special MOMENT.
A moment all of us will reflect on and realize how love can bring more
than two people together.
It can show us how commitment is truly defined.
Commitment requires dedication, laughter, patience, and truth.
Love cost nothing for it is truly priceless.
Commitment takes time.
Love is eternal.
Let us now experience what God
Has chosen to do today.
Let us all remember what has brought us all together:
Families that have learned to love,
Children that love their parents.
The love between a man and a woman,
…..
But most of all, the greatest love that has brought us together
is a loving God, who has created us all.
Me and my girl were arguing almost 3-4 times a week. She would come over, do her work and pass out without thinking about spending a minute with me. 2 years of back and forth power struggles, of me finding myself, of her regaining her confidence, of near-infidelity when I wasn’t around. I gave her as much strength as I could. I was full of it when I met her – confident, ambitious and strong. She left me shattered in pieces, but still I tried to work this out. Our connection is undeniable.
She broke up with me to find herself. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
I’m letting you go. I hope you come back, but if not thank you for the times we had together. I love you APL.
Stay strong everyone. <3
I was initially looking for this quote because it’s what my ex said to me the night we decided to end things. My situation is so complicated and is so intricate I don’t know how I ever got into it. Being bisexual and just being picky in general, when I met my boyfriend I thought my every wish and every dream had come true. He was literally everything I ever wanted in a guy. We hit it off instantly and I was really falling for him but being cautious at the same time. Meanwhile he was already talking about having me move in with him and all these sweet words. The first 2 months were incredible and I really felt a deep connection with him after those 2 months. However the problem was that he had never been in a relationship with another guy; he had only fooled around with guys. When I met him, it had been a a month since he had broken up with his ex-girlfriend of a few years, who had cheated on him many times during their time together. After 2 months with him, I noticed little things he would do or the way he treated me that somehow drove me crazy. It signaled to me that he wasn’t into me anymore. I confronted him about it, saying that I’ve only shown him love. He then said that he didn’t want to come back to see me and it would just be better if we just ended things cause it was “unfair” to me. He said people would find out about us eventually and it was too complicated to be with a guy. I was pretty messed up by then and sent him many texts just bashing him for everything he was putting me through. A few days later after my anger settled I decided that I really needed him in my life, as a friend or lover, I didn’t care which. He was ecstatic that I was willing to talk to him cause he said I was such a nice guy and he didn’t want to lose that. So we talked and he revealed to me that he was going back to his ex. I immediately laughed in his face, telling him what a fool he was and he was just setting himself up again. His reaction wasn’t what I expected and suddenly everything got reversed. He started saying he’d made a mistake and his heart still belonged to me. A couple of days later we saw each other and I stupidly let myself get intimate with him again. He said afterwards that he needed to figure out things first and he would let me know what would happen. He talked to his ex and she seemingly manipulated him once again and he broke my heart again. Or so I thought.. Hours later he called back saying he couldn’t do it and that he couldn’t give me up. To make an already long story short, we tried to work things out and I stupidly kept showing my love to him, waiting for him to tell me that we were back together. But other things were preoccupying his mind and he eventually told me that I should hold off on things for a couple of months while he got everything out of the way because it was once again “unfair” to me. I finally told him forget it, pretend we never met and let’s never speak again. That didn’t go too well with him and he said he would try to call me a month from now, if I answered or not, he would still try. I don’t expect him to frankly. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care if he does, but I think that in my current state of mind is why I feel like that. While I like to have a little hope that he will call and tell me he wants to be with me, I also know that I just have to drop this whole thing for my betterment. So I think this quote is actually from me to him, not him to me. I love him and I’m letting him go. If he returns to me, then it was truly meant to be. If not, then hopefully I will have already moved on and could care less if he calls or not.
Im sorry Jon to hear your story it sounds like your heart is getting beaten up.
Steven
Me and my ex girlfriend, Amy, have not been together for about 2 months now. The agony and hurt that I feel are unbearable. I have no doubt in my heart that I am a completely changed man. I love her unconditionally. I see my own selfishness and stubbornness. Though she refuses to contact me. If she only knew how much I love her and how I would treat her – she would come back in a second. Amy, my dear you are so close to my heart. I can still feel the soft touch of your hands. You are with me. I love you so. Please pray for us (anyone who reads this). We all make mistakes, but true love will find its way.
I feel your pain brother. I too would like for the lady I truly love & care about to come back into my life with God’s will and not as a friend where they fade away forever. Everytime I try to do that, it’s like some other people find ways to corrupted me so much…I wish she would be by my side. I pray that God can make it in his will and just like you…to make the one we truly care about and love so much to be as one in God’s will. Never think the impossible because God can turn that into a real possible. Let us all stay strong and God will heal the realationship that was ripped apart by the enemies.
its been 1 month and 1 week, i let go of somebody i love most. for 4 years we been together. on and off relationship… a week before i let him go, he was telling me by the phone he regretted having a relationship with me, shouting at me that i made his life hell, a year ago he was so happy that i was with him helping him with his problem supporting him loving him taking care of him…
i let him go, after how many times asking me his freedom, and after i saw a picture of another girl from his mobile. and after he shouted all thos hurtful words.
i am so much in pain right now….i felt empty. so empty…longing for my family to be with me, but i am alone here, they are away from me…all that is pushing me to live my day are their voices from the other side of the phone…
hi..
its been 6 months i broke up with my ex and we spend two years together i love him so much and yes its not easy to move on or the words letting go if u love the person..i need to be honest to all iam still hoping one day that he will come back for me and in gods time he will lead our way back together..pls help me to pray for us and that in time and even now that i will wait for the right time god wants for me..
My story has been posted a couple of times as my love broke up with me a few times but it only lasted a few days. Those few days seemed like eternity, but it is today that I realized that eternity without him is just about to start.
This time there is no return. We had this conversation many times, that he needs to move on but so far he couldn’t and now he is really ready and I have no choice but to let him go. I don’t want to but I have to, and at least now I started accepting it – or so I think…
Everyone who comes to this page knows this excruciating pain… I don’t really know why we have to experience it and why do we fall in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate our love the same way, or how is it that their love goes in a different direction… I guess this is normal though… I guess it is a rare situation when two people’s emotions are perfectly in-sync. It is also possible that some people don’t have the need for a deep emotional connection, and it is easier to connect on a more shallow level… I really don’t know.
What I know is that he needs me to let him go and I must do it no matter how much it hurts. So I deleted him from my phone, from my MSN contacts, from Facebook and told him to change his status to single as he is now free. I know I have to erase him from my mind, from my thoughts, so that the pain in my heart doesn’t crush me to death. The next few weeks is going to be about survival, and it sucks because I am so busy at work, I have a lot of things that require my attention, strength, creativity and here I am trying to suppress emotions.
I keep coming back here as this line draws me back… it gives me that last bit of hope. If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they are yours forever. If they don’t, it was never meant to be. So I am saying it over and over, and analyzing it. If I start from the end, first I have to accept the fact that maybe it was not meant to be. That means, he will never be mine, he will never kiss me, hold me, I will never caress his face and I will never feel that immense sense of awe when I am around him. And I have to accept that, as one accepts the death of a loved one. WE will never see them again… period. NEVER. This is why people who lose a loved one grieve and have to go through grief counselling. If we think about it, we are lucky… Our loved one didn’t even die… He/she is around somewhere, possibly laughing and alive and healthy and happy… How fantastic is that. Only they are not ours… And what?
The second last line is the big HOPE giver: if they come back, they are ours forever… How often does that really happen? If they felt the same connection as us, they would have never let go of us. But they did so wy would they come back… Really? Will they find that connection in our absence if they didn’t find it in our presence? Hmmm… I don’t know…
Finally the first line: is a gift to a loved one. Let them go. It’s his birthday in two days. I bought him a shirt from his favourite TV show and I started building him a website but I won’t give him all that… at least not now… I just sent him a message that I set him free… it is what he wished for, for so long… but I couldn’t, and he couldn’t separate himself from me as he was so safe and comfortable with me…. But he is 12 years younger and needs to build his own life, his own family…
Deep in my soul, I would live to pray every day for him to come back to me, and I believe in the power of prayer. In fact I did it before. I don’t know if it was my prayer that brought him back or he would have anyways… but is it fair? Is it fair to him and to me? If I keep praying to have him back, it means that I never let him go inside. I did from the outside, so I did him a favour, but not to myself. People, when we let go of someone, we have to do ourselves a favour too: we really have to let go from inside of us more then anything else. And then, only then, if they come back, it is not a need being filled, but a gift from God. So the answer is, pray so they come back or let go and clear our minds from that person…
I suggest a poll, and opinions. What do you think?
1. PRAY to have them back. The power of prayer is powerful, but if we don’t get them back it will torture us longer and longer.
2. Let go of them completely, find a place deep in our hearts where we pack them away as a treasured and beautiful memory, and move on with our lives.
What do you think? I think it is a tough choice and I haven’t made up my mind… My logical self says:LET GO, my emotional self says PRAY. Is there a way to combine them, and make them work for each other rather then against each other?
Your insight is much appreciated…
I let go of someone I had deep feelings for and I still miss him today but I know that I cannot have him. I often think of how he is doing! : (
I just realized that I have to let my man go. We have different religious beliefs and have been trying to make it work, but to no avail, he just cant overcome the differences. I am fine and stable in my spirituality and have all the faith in the world that with God we could work it all out. But for reasons I cannot understand he just cant make the move to get re-married. There is no doubt that we should be together and he use to speak the same way, but now I know that he has doubts…he says its all him and that he realizes its not fair to not make that committment. He says that he gets to the cliff and just cant jump, cant make the move to matrimony again. So instead of going back and forth, he decided to end things. Tonight I realized that I need to let him go…I am so happy to read these other comments…whether misery loves company or whatever the reason may be, I am happy to have read that if its meant to be that he’ll be back. If not, we had a wonderful time together and I will always love and appreciate the moments we shared. He is the best man I have ever loved, I will truly miss him as my man.
I can relate to a lot of you. I noticed that the majority of people on here are the ones who have been left behind. I broke up with my fiance of 4 years and 8 months because I felt so pressured. His family is moving out of Cali to Arkansas and i refused to go with and he was going to stay here with me. I feel pressured that what if things dont work out. I couldn’t handle that so I told him I need my space for a week. Then we can figure out what our own hopes and dreams are. I want him to get education and do something with his life because he wants to. He has no drive and I love him so much that I dont know what to do. I want the best for him is all and I don’t know what to do. I want him to be his own man. For our whole relationship I have always waited on him and he has been my all. I dont even know what makes me happy anymore. I am soo Confused and feel that I have no friends to talk about this to. My best is too busy partying and the others aren’t all there… What is wrong with me.
i am lonely but I know that by God’s grace, I will be able to move on… it is hard when a woman falls in love with a jerk.. her brain tells her to let it go, but her heart aches… I have done the right thing, I know. Praying that someday, the right man would come into my life and heal the wounds.
One writer wrote “Rejection hurts but it need not wound. It’s painful, but it doesn’t have to penetrate the heart.
Rejection will always sting, but there is a Healing Balm.” – Bob Sorge
holding on to a better life…
Finally we are back together!!! :-) We were seperated in total 4 months.
I wanted to post to let other people know that it can happen, they can come back after a time apart.
He said tht he struggled with being away from me, that his heart was hanging. If the relationship its meant to be – they feel the seperation as much as us.
Good luck everyone.
Hi Kerrie! I do believe in what you said.. if the relationship is meant to be, it will happen. All the best in your relationship.
my story is a bit complicated.. i love him so much and i know he loves me too, the problem is we’re from 2 different cultures that we struggled. he decided to end it but he gave me hope that everything happens for a reason and that this is not goodbye. i don’t know what to think. i’m in a rough spot in my life now. and i really hope that us together is what’s meant to be..
My boyfriend left me for someone else. We were together 7 years, high school sweethearts, we were bestfriends. We got together when he and I were 16 and I’m 23 now. He told me that he wasn’t leaving me/us for her and that that wasn’t what he envisioned for his future, he went on to say that he never meant to hurt me. You guys I loved him with all my heart. I never did anything to disrespect or hurt him throughout the 7 years but the way he broke up with me was humiliating. He did it in front of the girl that he left me for. He said that I was never what he wanted and he protected the girl he left me for instead of me. It’s been a month since it happened. He said that his girlfriend was a change up, something different because he had only experienced a relationship with me.
I cried everynight right after it occurred and I find myself crying most of the days out of the week. I cry before I go to work and during my breaks at work. I try to keep my mind off of him but what happened and him won’t go away. When I wake up it’s so hard because he’s not there. My brother seen him drive down our street with his girlfriend in the car with him. It’s like I tried so hard to love him and to make him happy and I failed. God knows that I truly and genuinely loved him. His new girl has a 2 year old son and I don’t know what it is that he’s doing. He’s told me plenty of times that he wanted me to be the mother of his child.
I hope and pray every night that I get a call or a text from him saying he’s sorry but to no avail. It hurts so badly. My mom who is my bestfriend is disappointed in me. She can’t believe that I let a guy hurt and depress me. My mom told me to promise her that when he comes back (she says she knows he will) that I won’t talk to him. I couldn’t promise her that. He’s left before for about 8 months and came back to me. After that we were inseparable, he was the greatest guy, I couldn’t have asked for a better guy. But when May hit, that’s when things went down hill, he became irritated by me and things took a turn for the worst.
I ask God why did this have to happen to me? Will he come back? Is this something that he & I have to go through? Did he hate me? What did I do wrong? Was I not pretty enough? Is he hurting ? Does he feel my pain? I’m also feeling hatred and wanting to seek revenge but I know if I seek revenge God will only punish me and it won’t heal my broken heart.
I talk & write to God a lot. I always beg God not to leave me and to hold me during these hard times. I try talking to a lot of friends & family and it takes my mind off of it but once I’m by myself he’s all I think about. I lost 15lbs within 3 weeks. I know with time it’ll get better but I just wish it never happened, I don’t think he’ll ever come back, I feel as though he hates me. He walked out on me, I feel like a failure.
I have been with my man for almost a year and a half. We lived together. I can’t even find enough words to explain how special he is to me. We had a difficult year, up and downs, and sometimes he didn’t know whether he wanted to stay or go, but I stuck by him and supported him.
I’ve never tried so hard in my LIFE for something to work out. I tried to be the perfect girlfriend, kind, caring, helping, and always giving him plenty of space.
After many ups and downs, we finally decided to buy a house together. I was absolutely elated and we had such fun looking at new places.
All of a sudden it all just came to a screeching halt. He withdrew, stopped texting me, and has finally told me that he just can’t. He snapped. He’s had many failed relationships and can’t seem to make the connection with me. Says he just doesn’t feel a spark and is bored quickly, and that he has a wild side he needs to let out, and for all of this he is just better off alone.
Letting this man go is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life now; I’ve been alone before, for a long time, and I know I can survive, but this is not what I want. I don’t have a good relationship with my family, so I’m just sort of floating here alone.
He was the most special person of my life, and has told me that he never loved and trusted anyone like me in his life (he’s just not “in love”). Anyone think that after a lot of time and space there’s ANY chance for a reconcilliation if I just set him free and let him be?
i”m just going through separation after being together for 5 years.
we have two beautiful boys that were created by love and gods will.
the way i feel about my wife can”t compare to anything i ever felt,but still she”s telling me that we should be with other people before we realize should we stay together or not….
i don”t understand why do we have to lose something so special before we realize how much it really meant.
maybe it was never so strong in a first place,because shouldn”t whats meant to be b from the start and keep riding instead of creating so many painful emotions…
i have to let it go because i dont have unother choice so if it comes back i will accept it but the pain i feel its just unbearable and cannot wait for it to stop.
Breakups suck!…. The days are so slow now I feel like every minute that goes by is another difficult moment apart… It’s been two weeks so far and yes I’m goin thru hell! And so sad to see how confused she is about leaving me I think I would feel better if she would only see me face to face and say were over for good …but if someone is so unsure ..doesn’t that mean /he she would more than likely come back?
Bryan–they indeed suck! And I also feel the days are passing by slower than ever before. My guy was/is unsure as well. I pray your your girlfriend comes back and my boyfriend comes back too. You are in my thoughts…
Reading all these posts has been inspirational. I always hear, if you love something let it go, so I googled that phrase and I came across this page. I have read that some people have let the love of their lives go, and have had them come back. I just recently let the love of my life go, and I hope and pray he comes back. Only time can tell. It’s been a week and it is so hard for me thinking about what the future holds for me. Now it’s in the hands of fate and God.
Shelby – “Thanks for the adventure. Now go have a new one.”
I feel that the hardest ones to let go are your children. Yet they are the most important ones to let go, because they need time and space to find themselves.