Unilever
2421 Bristol Circle
Oakville, Ontario
L6H 5S9

Brandon Erik Bertelsen
[Address Held Private]

Dear Unilever,

I recently purchased a carton of your ice cream, and I felt disappointed and misled by the advertising on the packaging; it claimed to be “Loaded with Stuff”. However, I found it lacking in the “stuff” department. Especially in comparison to other ice cream brands like the Oreo branded ice cream or the entire range of Haagendaz ice creams that contain, well, stuff.

As a connoisseur of ice cream, I would recommend that you cease to use the word “loaded” when it obviously lacks what any reasonable ice cream connoisseur would expect to receive in a “loaded” carton of milky, gooey goodness.

I would clarify my point by saying that I still enjoyed the carton and easily devoured it within a matter of hours. In fact it was absolutely delish! Regardless, it left me feeling cantankerous and somewhat ornery as the advertisement cheated my expectations. For that reason I am taking advantage of the formal process of writing you a letter and enclosing the UPC.

Sincerely,

A concerned ice cream connoisseur

I’m excited for this years round of hot docs. If you don’t know what hot docs is:

Hot Docs Canadian International Documentary Festival is North America’s largest documentary festival. Each year, the festival presents a selection of more than 100 cutting-edge documentaries from Canada and around the globe. Through its industry programmes, the Festival also provides a full range of professional development, market and networking opportunities for documentary professionals. ~ courtesy of hot docs

Here are my pics for this year:

• Beyond Our Ken
• At the Death House Door
• Forgotten Woman
• Killer Poet
• Planet B-Boy
• Short and Male

I also really want to see this film but I’m not sure if there’s enough time!

• Be Like Others