“That track could only be from the abominable snowman”

Says that three times fast, in the middle of an equatorial jungle. Yet another, big budget film with gigantic plot holes. The major movie producers must think the general population has about the same I.Q. as King Kong, they just keep pumping out the crap; and we keep eating it up.

I’m going to save the synopsis of the movie and just go into what bothered me about it. So here we go.

Why have so much background on the woman and the producer if they barely have any dialogue in the movie? Certainly, if they would have tried to explain where the producer got the idea to film on some secluded island (aptly named “Skull Island”, oh the irony) there might have been a purpose for the first hour of the movie.

This film displayed something to me about violence in movies that truly irks me. In a movie, someone is shot twice and they still somehow manage to be the hero. In real life, if you get shot, you will most likely die, if not immediately, then at least shortly thereafter. In a movie, you can be punched, kicked, beaten, and spit on and you still get up and kick the other guy or girl’s ass. In real life, if you get punched in the face, once, you will most likely be on the floor trying to hold your face intact if you’re still conscious.

In this movie, King Kong, is shot at least one-thousand times before the second hour is complete. Let’s talk realism here. A bullet can go through someone. In one side, out the other and still leave a nasty mark or hole in the wall. I’m 6’ tall; my skin is maximum 1/4” thick. Let’s use that as a ratio. 72” high: 0.25” thick. From the movie’s claims, King Kong is about 25ft tall. After some basic math we come up with 300” high: 1” thick. So, a bullet has to go through 1” of skin to harm our big buddy. Not exactly a feat if you consider the power in a gun. Which, if your only experience was the movies, you’d never know. After 1k, direct hits before the 2.5 hour marker, it’s a wonder he didn’t die from loss of blood.

Let’s add in some of the island realism. Mr. Kong doesn’t fight off one Tyrannosaurus Rex, but three! Wow, three gigantic meat eating predators all in a matter of yards from each other they must get hungry from eating each other’s food supply all the time. You know, an island that size can really support all that. Get this; they would rather eat the girl than chomp on yummy and potentially much more nourishing Mr. Kong.

I’m not going to talk about what some might call a dialogue between the girl and Mr. Kong or how many times the planes circled before his hairy ass fell off the building. I liked the movie for the special effects, but I was disappointed by the realism in the storyline.